White Knight

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by shadowheart, May 12, 2014.

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  1. shadowheart

    shadowheart Well-Known Member

    Ever playing the hero,
    you help me up when I fall down.
    But you never lift me high enough,
    that I no longer need you around.

    You let me fall to the ground again,
    when you ego needs a raise.
    People see you save me from myself,
    and shower you with praise.

    But I deserve the praise, not you,
    for living through this hell.
    People think you fix me,
    but you're keeping me unwell.

    I may never have been perfect,
    but I'm glad I'm not like you.
    The need for constant admiration,
    guiding all that you ever do.

    If you were a half way decent person,
    you would try to save me from myself.
    But you don't want me whole again,
    you have no interest in my health.

    My darkness casts a shadow,
    in which you love to hide.
    No one can see your flaws,
    with a wreck like me at your side.

    You might be my white knight,
    but I'm the light that makes you shine.
    But now I have had enough of you,
    I'm taking back what's mine.

    This is one of the latest posts from my blog.
    I'd love for you to drop by and leave a comment or some constructive criticism :]
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 26, 2014
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Wow hun i love this poem such insight it has great job.
  3. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Guest

    Unmask that Knight!

    I will analyze the poem here. It’s a tale out of the middle ages that never seems to end. I’m not analyzing you yourself, just the poem’s text. You mention criticism—which isn’t always positive or affirmative. In other words, criticism is realism, not flattery. That’s why I want to give you notice. Now I’ll begin:

    In the first two stanzas the knight attempts to make his consort totally dependent on him. Here it is argued that the knight obtains his reputation and sense of worth in this manner, by arranging to always rescue her in full view of the peanut gallery patrons, who duly give him plaudits.

    In the next two stanzas, the writer claims that she, not the knight, deserves the laurels in a contest of wits.

    Yet the next (5th) stanza says that the standard of decency for knights is precisely a rescue of the kind mentioned at the beginning of the poem. This seems a bit contradictory. If the knight truly cares about his consort’s health, then he would not try to solve his consort’s difficulties, some of which are self-created. Instead, he would be there and listen to her, but also stand aside to let her do whatever she needs to do for bettering her own health.

    At the end there is a statement of having decided to dump the knight, who is accused of stealing his consort’s heart for his own Machiavellian use.

    It is refreshing to see formerly subordinated groups of people start to assert rights to self-determination, as women are now doing in western culture. But how often is the slap-him-and-leave scenario feasible? It’s hard to find a new domestic situation especially at middle age and up. The economic consequences can be ruinous. Additional dependent parties such as children aren’t mentioned, but if they are present, that will complicate the breakup. And although self-affirmation is all the rage nowadays, the world rarely awards us stars for doing what we must do.

    Finally, I will ask whether the whole premise of “for love” should be accepted uncritically. It’s a recent invention that came with modern technology and the easier living that enabled. Before roughly 200 years ago, nobody selected mates for love. We wouldn’t ever want to go back to those days, because they were cruel. But the old-style attitude did acknowledge that commitment, a sense that one must complete his or her obligations to others, regardless of his or her own desires and feelings, is more realistic than “for love.” Emotions of love almost always diminish in a relationship over time. The “looking out for #1” turtle has gotten so dominant in our society that our very ethos classifies the human as a cafeteria item to be discarded if unsuitable in any way.

    So, I hope you booted your knight for good if he is (or was) a butthole. You need not put up with an abuser, verbal or physical. If your armored horseman is that type of guy, then he’s past due to hit the street. I think that’s likely a big victory and progress for you, if you are dealing with that.

    But be aware that a lot of the stuff in the poem’s message presumes on ideals in western culture that turn out fallacious. In certain ways, we really haven’t progressed too far down the path toward enlightenment since King Alfred’s day.

    Best of all the sweet springs and luck of the Earth come to you. ,… :strawberry:
    Last edited: May 12, 2014
  4. shadowheart

    shadowheart Well-Known Member

    Re: Unmask that Knight!

    Thanks Eclipse :]

    Hi Hatshepsut. I replied to this comment in more detail on my blog. But I just wanted to say in here that your notes were very helpful and after reading them I was able to make some edits to my poem that I think have improved it greatly.
    Thank you for the time that you have taken in responding.
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