Once, years back I was full of life, brilliance at a young age, really. I was athletic and slick, I danced and didn't mind the comments, i sung with my heart open, i took the world by its neck and showed it who was boss. as adolescences caught up with my youth i took notice on my actions, I was weary. My emotions ran wild. today I am not the girl full of life. My eyes hold apathy, a sense of melancholy is always lingering around my half smile, my arms are tainted with self mutation. my minds so cluttered, why are am i so cluttered? why would i let myself do this? I haven't gone out with friends in weeks. I have no desire for much, and when I do desire something, i usually procrastinate to the point where i no longer can have it. i just feel pathetic, i'm missing classes, calling out sick for work- my family is dissenting me more and more for it. oh how i wish I wasn't so fearful of death, how i wish i could simply end it all. i know i can't, i'm praying that this will pass, my body is buckling underneath the pressure. i feel my end is hear, soon.