who am I?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by acevedo, Jun 2, 2013.

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  1. acevedo

    acevedo New Member

    Once, years back I was full of life, brilliance at a young age, really. I was athletic and slick, I danced and didn't mind the comments, i sung with my heart open, i took the world by its neck and showed it who was boss.
    as adolescences caught up with my youth i took notice on my actions, I was weary. My emotions ran wild.
    today I am not the girl full of life.
    My eyes hold apathy, a sense of melancholy is always lingering around my half smile, my arms are tainted with self mutation. my minds so cluttered, why are am i so cluttered? why would i let myself do this?
    I haven't gone out with friends in weeks. I have no desire for much, and when I do desire something, i usually procrastinate to the point where i no longer can have it.
    i just feel pathetic, i'm missing classes, calling out sick for work- my family is dissenting me more and more for it. oh how i wish I wasn't so fearful of death, how i wish i could simply end it all. i know i can't, i'm praying that this will pass, my body is buckling underneath the pressure.
    i feel my end is hear, soon.
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Hello acevedo,


    I'm sorry to hear that life has become such a struggle for you. I can relate to what you have said quite well. When I was younger, I used to play every single sport at school and I used to play the violin in orchestra's and sing in choirs, but then my depression swallowed me and ate me up inside. You need to talk to someone how you are feeling, a school counsellor, a teacher, a doctor because it sounds like you are very depressed. Depression can be beaten, although it may not feel like that now. I made it through that struggle, you can too! :hug:
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I find that wisdom sucks the life out of most. I wish I could go back and learn to remain ignorant.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am sorry you are feeling so down, do you have anyone like a therapist you could talk to? You can really benefit from just talking and letting everything out x
     
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am also sorry you are going through this...can you talk to your parents about how you are feeling and see if you can get some help...not knowing you, we cannot even speculate why, but what i do know, is that you should be going through this alone...please continue to post as many of us have been through this...with caring
     
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