I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this. If it's not please let me know. I don't know who I am anymore. For the last 16 years I've thought of myself only in the context of a alcoholic, drug addict, and lesbian. I abandoned all hopes and dreams of the past simply survive day to day in the context of those things. At some point, who I am got lost in the mix of things. I became whoever you wanted me to be, silently disappearing from existence. My social issues increasingly became a problem and I pushed everyone out of my life. Now I find myself clean and sober and questioning my lesbian card. I've got no hobbies, a few friends who I interact with on a very limited basis and that's my life. I go to work and the gym. I know what my ex likes to do, but I have no idea what I like to do. I have no idea who I am or where I am going. What is my motivation for living? I DON'T KNOW! I have no motivation to do anything today. I'm not feeling well, already had 2 seizures, and on the verge of saying screw it all. Quit the job, quit the gym, and ignore everyone. There are many things I need to be doing, but instead I'm stuck here wondering who I am, and if that person is worth all the effort. What if I'm nothing but a bad selfish person? What if I can never live up to the expectations of others? What if I'm not a good employee, good weight lifter? What if I'm nothing but a disappointment? How do I figure out who I am? I'm frustrated, tried, and I don't even know where I'm going with this. I'll stop typing now.