who am I???

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by liveinhope, Jul 4, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Who am I?

    Just had a need to write
    I have a heavy heart today one filled with no joy only with sadness, one thing that sometimes is so frustrating is I don’t know why, it sounds odd I know all the things that have happened and the reasons for it being a struggle, but I cant say this happened today and that’s why I feel this way right now.
    I’m tired but I can’t sleep
    I’m deep in thought but can not find any answers,
    I’m desperate but can not fight,
    I’m embarrassed but can not hide,
    I’m frightened but have no protector,
    I hold secrets but I can not share,
    I have hate but can not forgive,
    I feel a failure but can not find confidence,
    I’m reaching the middle of my life and I can not find youth,
    I’m not the person I once was, but I can not find myself,
    I want peace, but I can not go,
    I want to find god, but I don’t know where to look,
    I’m nothing but I can not find something,
    I’m empty but I can not find fulfillment,
    I’m heavy hearted, but I can not grieve,
    I’m alone but I can not relate to those around me.
    I have so much love inside but I can not share it
    I hate depression but I can not beat it


    Who am I? Where did I go? When did I disappear?
     
  2. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

    :hug: :hug: :hug: am here if you wanna chat hun :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You didn't disappear Dawn. You are still there, hiding. Trying to escape from the pain. Embrace your self for the wonderful person you are. There is only one of you, and there can never be another. You are shaped by your experiences, the good and the bad. While I would wish that you had never had to suffer the things you have, I would never wish for you to be different. You are special and unique. :hug:
     
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You won't disappear, especially as long as you have people who care for you such as friends and family.
     
  5. an azzhole

    an azzhole Guest

    Who am I?

    Just had a need to write (a good tool)
    I have a heavy heart today one filled with no joy only with sadness, one thing that sometimes is so frustrating is I don’t know why, it sounds odd I know all the things that have happened and the reasons for it being a struggle, but I cant say this happened today and that’s why I feel this way right now.
    I’m tired but I can’t sleep (that's what happen when too many ghosts keep knocking on the closet door to be set free)
    I’m deep in thought but can not find any answers, (or dont like those you get-have)
    I’m desperate but can not fight, (you have surrender before the battle even started)
    I’m embarrassed but can not hide, (rather not comment or ''ll kick your .........)
    I’m frightened but have no protector, (you have many but either push them away or refuse to see them as such
    I hold secrets but I can not share, (that's wat writing is for.... no?)
    I have hate but can not forgive, (till you forgive you'll live with your shame and pain you aliment you own hatred by not forgiving)
    I feel a failure but can not find confidence, (why do you always choose pple pple tht hurt you as mate? vicious circle repeating itself over and over..........must be a reason to it. find your own answer and ask the rite person to find that anwer.)
    I’m reaching the middle of my life and I can not find youth, (stop looking back and look forward there is a better view summer is arriving, renew your wardrobe 'thoughts-views etc the past is goine nothing you can do to change it so why bother, just hurting yourself non ending story tells you something?)
    I’m not the person I once was, but I can not find myself, (thank god you are not what you once were....its called grwoing up. Time to adjust)
    I want peace, but I can not go, (alleluia)
    I want to find god, but I don’t know where to look, (look within your body its His temple)
    I’m nothing but I can not find something, (i'll refrain and bite my tongue here)
    I’m empty but I can not find fulfillment, (coz what you see as fulfillment has long gone and not accepting go move on)
    I’m heavy hearted, but I can not grieve, (you have grieved yet havent learnt to let go)
    I’m alone but I can not relate to those around me. (you missing what's call light)
    I have so much love inside but I can not share it (you do just dont realize doing it)
    I hate depression but I can not beat it (you can if you learn to believe in yourself and change psi-method-meds-etc find what fits you to beat the beast)

    Who am I? Where did I go? When did I disappear? a simple human being. You're in a dark place and went where you 'think' it is safe to be 'dark closet whre none can find nor hurt you no more but the problem iwth closet is that they are filled with ghosts frm the past.

    isn't it lonely to live in such place mrs-miss? open the door and let light fill that room and fill it with colored flowers and change the air. Set those ghosts free and live with the living beings surounding you, those who love and cherish you for who you are. Might learn great lessons from those around you.

    An azzole that want you to open your eyes and stop lving as a blind person seeking god knows what when it is right in front of your nose.

    an azzhole
     
  6. an azzhole

    an azzhole Guest

  7. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    i wish it was so easy hun but i thank you for the reply anyway
    hugs
     
  8. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    Dawn,

    Im here hun
    I see ur sorrow
    I feel ur pain
    I ll find u when ur lost
    I cant beat depression either
    But I ll fight it if u will
    I cant forgive ur demons hunni
    But I can help u face them
    I ll never force u to share
    But Ill listen when u can
    you have more love inside than most
    And u do share it hunni really u do
    You try to hate but ur too nice even for that
    You ll never disappear for me babe
    Our friendship knows no boundaries
    Hold on tight and I ll be here for u
    Like u are for me
    Ill light your dark path
    Ill be there when its cloudy
    And u cant reach or relate
    When the room is crowded and u still feel lonely
    My friendship is urs as urs is mine
    we'll fight together
    safety in numbers
    like we have for so long
    ur so special
    loads of people know that
    only reason u dont know it hun
    is cos people in truated places have taken it from u
    Im here to give it back

    MY FRIEND IS GOOD ,SHES SPECIAL,SHECARES,SHELOVES

    hugs and strength always dawn

    Jo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  9. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    im not worthy of such a reply but thank you :sad:
     
  10. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    u r so worthy of it hun
    and much more
    u dont need to believe that
    ill believe it and carry it for u

    hug hug
     
  11. TinkerLoop

    TinkerLoop Well-Known Member

    sounds like it came from me *hug sorry here if you want me hun
     
  12. an azzhole

    an azzhole Guest

    Mrs, you make it as easy or as difficult as YOU decide/let it to be. You have the power of decision, NO ONE ELSE.

    and remember what the song says. you never walk alone. ask the ..... :tongue: At least you have Him and Jo and thy kids and his and georgia that love and cherish you and all are on your side.

    I know, i am an azzhole and shall remain. cant help it, only way to survive.

    a real Azzhole right!

    Hiroshima (once was enough, twice the world would crumble)
    farewell
     
  13. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun you have so many that love you for who you really are. Turn to them now. You arent as alone as you feel, truly you arent.
     
  14. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Thank you both and azzhole i just consider you as a friend whom i care about thank you for visiting

    take care
     
  15. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    be safe sweetie :hug:
     
  16. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    and you to hun
     
  17. an azzhole

    an azzhole Guest

    I know, same here. But at times goodbye doesnt mean we've stopped to care.
    take care mam
     
  18. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    no i know it doesnt hun and i care to, i cant ask anyone to stay around that doesnt want to for what ever reason, but im loyal to my friends and will be there if you ever need a pal

    take care
     
  19. an azzhole

    an azzhole Guest

    dont make it harder than it is alrady. let me explain sumting ok. if two pple are drawning and dont no how to swim, instint will bring both to hold, get a grip to the oter and vice versa. moral? both would drawn in the process. I didn't want it to thappen. I called potato to run to you so know youd be safe with her there. Had to take care of me ....you no what was on my mind and alone. sorry if i let you down. didnt and dont mean to but i fight alone
    and tht azzhole of psi keep avoiding me.

    You barely keep your hed above water level how can you be there for oter witout suffering as you are a SPONGE absorbing everyone's pain? Nun give you tool, M give you tool, Jo give you tool, I gave you tool. You have nuffe to build a safe house for the scare babe inside -out that you are.

    luv ya

    take care

    p.s. do me a favor and do not tell who the hell i am to anyone. its betweeen you and me PLEASE. time to go call back that azzhole and see if he'll take the call this time.
     
  20. an azzhole

    an azzhole Guest

    sorry so mess up i forgot to say ou. the 'waht ever reason' is your-my safety. as to be loyal i never doubt it so am I (when in my rite mind) and is not the case to best i stay away till i fall back on my feet (welll kinda). dont think it is easy to let go of you but i do for your best interest hope you know it. bonus not fighting alone for now the iron pan worked at the end.

    time ssay goodbye till the sun shine. take care xx

    ok have to sign 'an azzhole' i guess rite? duh
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.