Who am I...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sd-239192, May 16, 2009.

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  1. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    I just don't have any facts anymore... I'm cracking at the seams and death seems to look me in the eyes everywhere I go. These thoughts, why am i having them... why do images of death and destruction plague me... a few night ago i tried again... but stopped before i could finish the deed... now i want to finish what i started... i don't know what to do anymore... there are so many people i don't want to hurt... but many more i want to suffer for the pain they gave to me...
  2. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member


    I'm sorry that I don't have any words of wisdom for you or anything that can make you better, just letting you know that I read your post & you're not alone here.

    I'm glad you're still with us, if you ever want to talk about what led you to how you are feeling then we'll be here to listen. We may not have the answers but we do understand what you are going through.

    Please take care of yourself :hug:.
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Weocome to the forum. If you can, try and give us just a little more detail so we can offer some guidance. I'm available for a private message if you wish, I respond to all.
  4. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I'm not going to tell you a good reason to kill yourself (there are plenty), but this one is a bad one. Suicide is so final, wheras the pain felt by others lessens over time. No matter how much pain and suffering you may endure during your day to day life, you as an individual being alive is more important than punishing others.
  5. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    I'm just a shell of my former self... i don't know whats happening to me anymore... i just got my bandages off from my most recent attempt, now i see the full extent of the damage... it makes me want to do more... i don't want to die, so why do i keep on trying?
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Do you have a therapist who can help you through this? That would be helpful.
    As far as the questions of why those thoughts plague you, those are good questions. Maybe after you've distanced yourself from this crisis a little bit you can take a good look at them and figure out why you are suffering so much. Figure out what links to what you know?
    Feel better :console:
  7. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    I don't think anybody knows why. If they have figured it out, they're not sharing. I do know that trying to get back at people that hurt you by hurting yourself is a losing proposition. If they get off on hurting you, the only way you can get back at them is by living well. I know that's hard...
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