Really, I am going to do it. Who cares? Really. A couple of people I can't see over the big wide world web? That's it? Well that sucks. I'm just picturing my funeral right now. It will consist of my son (yes, I know, I am selfish, blablablablabla), and my parents. That's it. That's all. No more. Null. Nobody else. You know, I fought for a long time, and I even beat the darkness. But now that I beat it - so what? Who cares? Where to now? No friends - everybody hates me. Three weeks ago I got attacked because of my ethnicity, he tried to rape me, I fought him off. It was a hate crime. I have never felt racist in my life but I felt racist right then and there - and you know what. None of my friends are talking to me anymore because - get this - an HOUR after the attack I stated on facebook (after saying I was attacked) that I hate everybody of that nationality. Obviously I don't and I calmed down after that, but apparently it's impossible to understand within humanity that hating a certain race after being attacked on racial grounds is probably a normal reaction. Nope - not one single person has supported me through it. Not even my f&cking mother - who saw the bit where I fought him off. Nope, not even her. Who cares? Nobody loves me. NOBODY. Nobody cares. You know, I can't wait to do it. I'm sick of being humiliated and insulted because of my marital status in this country, I'm sick of people and society and their stupid rules and I think religion is a scam now. Who cares? I can't wait to do it. Yes I will miss my son and I don't think he will ever forget or forgive me. Sorry, son, but you don't want a mother like me. What am I going to teach you? How to bear every day even though you want to die? It's better if you're around people who smile once in a while, people who aren't as weak as me. As for me - I'm going. Goodbye. Ciao. Auf Wiedersehen. That's it.