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who do i tell??

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by alyb, Aug 31, 2010.

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  1. alyb

    alyb Member

    i don't know where else to turn. all my fiance did was scream at me yesterday. it was suppose to be an exciting day because we put a deposit down on our reception hall. it seems no matter what i do, i piss him off. i kept my distance, but later in the night he tried to joke around and i guess in his own way, "apologize." but i just kept ignoring him, went to get a shower, and when i came back out he was really mad again. i let him sleep..but in the morning, he was worse. i followed him into the bathroom, trying to get him to talk to me, but he slammed me against the wall by my neck and said, "i have to fucking go to work. im not doing this."
    yesterday morning i was late for work because i really want to go through with killing myself. i had my plan and i sat in my room and debated it. and today i feel as if nothing is holding me back. he is just the icing on the cake. i feel as if he was my only grip on life and i can't even talk to him! he is mad the majority of the time. and even if i caused it or not...he takes it out on me. i have been in such a dark place for the past few months. i have absolutely no one to talk to about this. everyday its harder for me to get out of bed, deal with him, deal with my parents, deal with work..and it seems like there is no one "rooting me along." i go to work and cry and struggle to get myself to do anything. i don't see any reason why i should be here anymore.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    alyb I'm so sorry you are being treated that way....
    I understand the wanting to die but don't do it ok...
    Can you talk to your parents about how you feel and whats going on in your life...
    If not talk to your doctor as soon as possible.
    Your fiance is not treating you right...no one has the right to slam you against the wall ..that's domestic violence and you don't have to put up with it...
    You deserve to be treated with respect..you are a worthwhile person...
    I think your fiance has issues and needs help but I doubt he'd see that...
    All you can do is change you ...
    Look after yourself and get some help...
    we are here to listen and try to help..
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    There are plenty of people to talk too on SF. If you want someone to talk to in reality there is always your family or your doctor or support groups. I find keeping a journal of my thoughts to be nice And therapeutic. I can understand your fiance's frustration easily enough. How would you feel if someone you love and more importantly says he/she love you and wants to spend the rest of their life with you. However, he or she wants to die. I am understanding of suicidal thoughts I know how hard they can be ok. Even still your story annoyed me. You come to him on a good day to tell him the second worse thing, in my opinion, you can hear from you spouse to be. During one of the most stressful parts of a relationship. To add insult to injury you ignore him when he tries to apologize and then you want to reconcile when he has to go to work. I know my ex always chose the worst times to want my attention. I also know it annoyed me to no end. I do not condone his actions simply screaming should have been enough. :mad:

    Just a few other things to think about. Here are some thoughts that would run through my mind as your fiance, if I were him.
    • Is she just settling for me?
    • does she really love me?
    • will she actually be happy with me?
    • am I just the best she feels she can do?
    While I am not 100% comfortable being the soul purpose of another's happiness. I would rather be that, over being in your fiance's situation. At least if I am the soul reason for your happiness I know you are happy.

    Again sorry, I tend to read stuff like this and get upset because you have the thing I feel is missing from my life. In my opinion you should work on yourself before you tie the knot with this guy. You should know that if he is in your life you will not be suicidal otherwise this will ruin both of your lives.
  4. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    Alyb, I don't see how you can marry someone who is so abusive and disrespectful to you. It's not going to get better it's going to get worse.
    I have read what you have written on your other posts and it seems that this man is very abusive and angry. You are doing your best to cope with him, but he is not cooperating. You really should leave him and start a new life on your own. Don't marry him. You don't need him. Your self esteem will grow once you have left him. You are a strong woman, and you are very capable.
    Leave now, while you are able. Protect yourself from this man. If he is reluctant to marry, consider this a time to get out.
  5. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    Marrying him should be one of the happiest days of your life and should be with someone that makes you feel loved. Once you get married it will be harder for you go get out, if you need to.
    I don't really know enough to comment but i would ditch him, he sound horrible go to a friends or parents and book a doctors appointment. You should look for someone who makes you feel you special. I really hope things work out for you.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 31, 2010
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