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Who do you tell about depression and why?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Shock, Jul 19, 2008.

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  1. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    Hey, just wondering who you guys tell about your depression and why?

    I dont tell anyone, but sometimes I think I should...I dunno.
    I mean in this perspective:

    Close friends/family
    Housmates/people you live with
    Places of study

    Putting it out there!
  2. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    in real life. not many people. my gf isnt the most supportive/receptive of people out there when it comes to things like this..:laugh:

    but i've generally not had good experiences with people reacting to my (i don't like to say depression) but my very understandable grief, anger and outrage.
    i had one counsellor who was fantastic. but she's gone and i'm left with a jittery mouse who doesn't want to open her eyes to things outside, to things outside there, it's all "you're talking very deep things about people and society" and then shifts me back to my family where she feels more comfortable. like i've lived in my family house for all my life...like i haven't had contact with the outside world ever in my life:rolleyes:.

    so. no. i don't tell people much about my feelings of sadness, anger, grief outside of the internet.
  3. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    from personal experience i wouldnt have told anybody that i was close to. im quite happy talking about stuff on here but to tell somebody face to face is totally different.

    if you really think you need to tell somebody, i would go for it but you should also prepare for the possibility of them being weirded out by it and not knowing what to say to you about it.
  4. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    mmm yeah. i once was told it would be 'polite' to tell my housemates about it, but when theyve talked about it (in other circumstances; about other people) theyve said some really horrible things. Im giving them the benfit of the doubt in that im presuming they dont understand what it is like to have depression, so i just let it wash over me even though it makes me hurt and angry.

    thanks for the info any way guys!
  5. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    honestly everyone i know knows i have severe depression, but that's the extent of it too. everyone knows i'm receiving electric shock for it too, but they are not aware of how it is effecting me. well, maybe a couple people are. people know how i am when they see me land in the hospital, but otherwise people don't really ask and i don't really say. i did feel it was important for people to know what i suffer from so that when i do land in the hospital it's clear as to why i'm there instead of them trying to draw other conclusions. i'm pretty open about it, and personally i feel it's better that way. whatever though.
  6. daniel2

    daniel2 Banned Member

    wow insignificant. sorry to get off topic but electric shock therapy? I thought that went out with lobotomys :(

    does it work?
  7. sandalwood

    sandalwood Well-Known Member

    i think the response of whoever you'd want to tell is really the difficult thing if it's someone you care about. i have a friend i'm becoming quite close to, and many times i have almost told him about my constant thought of dying, but something stops me every time. i guess saying it out loud like that can make it seem far scarier and real too. like when something bad really sinks in for the first time and hits you hard.
    so far, nobody in real life knows about it for me..
  8. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    ^ yeah i understand.

    my gf can't cope with me so she shuts me off, the thought of me going/dying she shuts it all off. in fact, the day before i went into hospital, i couldn't walk down to her house. i collapsed and said, i'm fucking dying i need the hospital. she just said, 'oh you just need to eat a bit.' i said i've been eating enough and walking down to your house is like walking through 3 foot deep mud, and i can't breathe, i need the hospital. she just thought i was being 'melodramatic'. i even ask her now about the times when i was so sick, and she can't remember. she spends a lot of time zoned out away from me i think. i think it'll only get to the point of me overdosing as a pathetic 'cry for help' for her to see i'm suffering, but i don't want to do that. i've given up wanting any kind of comfort from anyone at the moment.
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i have told my good friends that i have been depressed, only a handful know about the suicide attempt. i shared with them because a part of me wants to stay alive, even though my brain is trying to kill me. i figure the best way is to enlist my friends in the fight. haven't told my family much. i told work that i have to take some time off here and there but didn't really get into to details as to why (but they were great when i had to make some emergency trips to the hospital to get sorted out).

    i guess it comes down to why you are telling. if it is for support then that's something different than just telling them for information reasons. what do you hope to get out of telling them.
  10. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    any kind of non-judgemental support or genuine concern or 'i hear you' from someone who is supposed to be close to me means the world to me. i'm not expecting anyone to wave a magic wand.
  11. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i hope you can find that support and concern from your friends. i would say 99% of my friends give me that. one person, on the other hand, told me to "snap the fuck out of it".... urgh.

    i am sorry you aren't getting very much support from your girlfriend right now. at the risk of stating the obvious, that must be very painful. i hope she is open to learning how to better support you going forward.

    i have been very lucky with my therapist. she is a straight-talking new yorker, and she doesn't mince words - exactly what i needed. tomorrow is our last session. sadness.
  12. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    yes it's sad leaving a counsellor you get along with. it really tore me apart to lose the one i liked.

    yeah it's painful. i think that explains how difficult i find getting close to anyone- it is very painful. i don't think she's willing to learn as we don't actually see each other often. i don't know. thanks for your reply and i hope your counselling session goes as well as it can tomorrow. i didn't get a proper 'ending' with the one i liked. it was very rushed and tears on both side.

    i'm glad you get that support from your friends. they sound great. take care.
  13. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    Friends I have known for years and generally feel comfortable with. Only when I am drunk/high though.
  14. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    I don't tell anybody how I feel. I did that three years ago, lost my job, lost my friends, lost my home, and my family didn't know how to deal with it and just pretended everything was OK. Long story short; my family thinks I'm fine, I don't tell friends or coworkers, and the only place I let anyone know how I feel is when I post here.
  15. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Friends, family know about it. But I think they pretend it isn't there.
    My ex Rachel who I talk to truly understands.
    People here understand.

    Otherwise if it comes up in conversation, I really don't hide that I'm depressed and suicidal. Sometimes I'll even joke about it.
    Like one of my friends said don't do anything stupid or I'll kill you. And I said that's pretty ironic.
  16. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    Man this all reminds me of a time when i did tell a friend i considered pretty close. A few weeks later he hosted a party. He was stainding accross the room with two late-comers and all of a sudden the stereo died and in the silence i caught him pointing at me and saying "....and dont go near that guy, hes a bit psycho." Man that cut me like a knife.

    I know that being the one that started this thread it can be a bit taboo to put a little bit of a negetive spin on things but the reason I posted it in the first place was just out of interest in why people tell people. I mean its only brought me shit from some and nothing at all from others.

    See it may be a totally negetive and black and white view but after I told a few people it didnt do anything. It was just words. And so is counselling to me. Fuck counselling. I tried six and in the end its all just words.

    Hey thanks for all the response though, its all pretty interesting to learn how others handle this. Also has anyone ever felt theyve needed to tell and employer? like on medical grounds?
  17. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    My friends and family never directly confront me....

    The depression is obvious yet I know people are afraid of it...

    I've been depressed/suicidal for so long, it's accepted by people around me.

    My employer intervened and said it's interfering with my job and try ot put me on forced leave and I refused....

    then the manic side comes out........then back to depressed and suicidal where the intent becomes stronger. I can't get out of this numb feeling....
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