Who here besides me doesn't want a mate?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by HelpingHand, May 9, 2008.

  1. HelpingHand

    HelpingHand Active Member

    I have been without a gf all my life. I ended my search a year ago after a attempt trying to get the attention of a girl that turned disasterous. I hope I never experence love or a relationship. I have thought about various solutions including castration and drugs to lower my sex drive. I am ceasing to see females as potenial companions or mates but merely as potenal chances for me to get my rocks off. The way I go about doing things now is trying to forfill my needs without worrying about hers (sexual or otherwise). I personally don't see the point in trying to get close to or developing a relationship anymore.
     
  2. protonaut

    protonaut Well-Known Member

    Hey, it's okay to have feelings for people, but it doesn't need to be a major focus either. There are plenty of other things to concentrate on in life, and being single has some great benefits. You'll have more energy available to advance in your career goals, lots of time to spend on personal interests, you can hang out with anyone you want and travel around without having a significant other question your motives, the list goes on.

    Having a good relationship would obviously have some nice benefits as well. Personally, I wouldn't mind a relationship, nor do I mind being single. It's not a "grass is greener" type of situation from my perspective, I'm just as happy either way. I don't really understand why other guys obsess over the need for relationships so much.
     
  3. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Just recently I've come to the conclusion that for me it's best to not get involved in a relationship. Doesn't mean I don't crave for that love.
    However, I don't listen to my heart but to my head if it comes to love now. I know myself well enough. I fall for someone, but as soon as a relationship is developing I want out, cos I freak out. Especially with guys, cos there's this whole "he wants sex"-pressure.
    So yeah, no relationships for me. At least not in the near future :rolleyes:
     
  4. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    You can't have a relationship where you just fullfill your own needs and ignore the other person's. That's kind of selfish. So maybe you're right and you shouldn't have one. It would certainly save you a lot of effort.

    Personally, I can live with or without one. Although, I've been single for about a year and it's starting to get to me. Still, I'd rather be lonely with some standards than be with someone I don't care about or worse, someone who doesn't care about me.

    If it's not with someone really special I tend to agree with you. Relationships can be a huge waste of time. But I think the right one will be worth it.
     
  5. hmm ssri's then the drive down that libido.
     
  6. Warrior2089

    Warrior2089 Active Member

    I agree about not really wanting a relationship. I'm only 14 years old, and I've seen the whole anchilada of relationships. People my age use the old insult of "you don't have a girlfriend?" as a means of looking bigger than someone else. I say, who cares if I don't want a girlfriend? Who cares if I don't want to date some whore who will beg me to spend all my money on her and then end up dumping me one month later?

    Not worth the effort, in my opinion. I would rather focus on schoolwork and activities with my family than with some girl. The same honestly goes for my friends, too. I absolutely love and cherish my friends, but my family comes before them, as well.

    Anyone else agree with me?
     
  7. HelpingHand

    HelpingHand Active Member

    Agreed, relationships are very often counter productive.
     
  8. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    Being a 41 year old single man, that's never really had any serious "relationship", think I would think very caerfully about the path you have chosen, a very hard and lonely place is where making those sort of choices is where that will take you, as you get older, it's the interaction with other people that bring richness into your life, be that sexual or otherwise, it doesn't really matter

    Sure relationships are hard work, sure they don't always work out, sure sometimes the end result is that painfull, you wonder if it was ever worth it

    After 41 years of living the life you are looking for, I can tell you for me, living this way has hurt me more on apersonal level, than any relationship could, not matter how badly it turns out

    Hang on in there, keep trying, if you lucky, the right one will come along
     
  9. Mortem

    Mortem Well-Known Member

    Well, that'd be me. Although I'm incapable of romantic feelings and sexual attraction... so it's pretty easy for me. Many years ago... well, in my early 20s it really drove me crazy why I couldn't be like everyone else around me... but when I was at the peak of insanity I just had to let go of everything and, to my surprise, it set me entirely free. :cool:

    As for killing your libido, there is medication available just like someone mentioned above. But it will also fade with age. Also, if you try the whole celibacy thing, which demands an awful lot of self-discipline in the beginning, eventually those feelings will go dormant, from what I've heard.
    Also, exercising a lot helps, and it has other benefits.
     
  10. I have been in so many failed relationships in the past. Two of the girls whom I dated, claimed to have such severe mental illnesses, that they felt that they could no longer remain in a relationship, causing them to break up with me. This hurt me so much, that I have lost interest in having a relationship with anyone, except with a person who completely is in love with me and who won't threaten to physically harm me, cancel visiting me several times, etc. Also, the last relationship that I was in, my lost interest caused me to fail her. I knew that I wasn't ready for her. So, I broke up with her, knowing that she'd find someone alot better for her. I hope much happiness for her in her life.

    I know that I'll find my angel on the island. It won't always be this way.
     
  11. klodo

    klodo Well-Known Member

    I would like a platonic relationship as sex makes me feel too nervous and weird as I have never come close although I do have some feelings.Now I just need to find a woman who never wants sex but still wants to hang out with me. Hmmm some hope.
     
  12. Abby Rose

    Abby Rose Well-Known Member

    I never actually been in any kind of relationship but I have absolutely no desire to be in one either. The idea of letting someone get that close to me emotionally is frighten, and sex in general is just repulsive from my standpoint. I defiantly wouldn't say that I am happy living like this but it seems much better then the alternatives.
     
  13. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    Recently I don't care any more.
    People tell me they never want to marry... Some tell me they want to find a husband/ wife and settle down... My grandma and ma tell me they want grandchildren...
    I just reply, whatever, I don't care. If I find a 'mate' ok. If we separate ok. If I never meet anybody, ok.
    What difference does it make.
    Being alone has a lot of advantages.
    Having 'convictions' sucks.
     
  14. HelpingHand

    HelpingHand Active Member

    Relationships if your not careful can really suck out your soul.
     

  15. Very true!
     
  16. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    You and K should have a chat, im sure she can relate :rolleyes: :laugh:

    ...sometimes imo, theres a fine line between pressure, and trying to turn your partner on.

    I think for me, I would like a mate. I think it depends on circumstances, how long youve been alone and what else you have going on in your life, even financial issues. Some people are career focused to the extreme, and any partner they have come off second best (ie my father). Some people just love there own space and resent other people being around all the time, some dont know what they want , and some change there mind every 5 minutes. Its all so very complicated.

    I cant think of anything much better than spending your time with someone you love and really get along with.
     
  17. HelpingHand

    HelpingHand Active Member

    My one question to you is there such a thing as a "easy path".
     
  18. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    I want a girlfriend. I just don't want sex...
     
  19. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    I believe, species can advance to the point where sex is only for procreation or become sexless and reproduce using technology, grow babies in tubes. I think modern sexuality does more harm than good for humankind. But its not the sex it self its the way most of society goes about it. I am open to have "friends with benefits", but I don't think I'm interested in a long term relationship.
     
  20. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure what I want these days. My sex drive is next to non-existent because of my medication. I use to enjoy sex and do want it, but I probably can't even do the act well anymore. Lately I find myself wishing for someone who doesn't want sex at all and would settle for cuddling and spending other quality time together.