Don't worry, I am feeling pretty good and stable now. But on Monday I had a SERIOUS crisis. I phoned my doctors secretary and politely asked her to ask the doctor to ring me that it was URGENT. I'm not going into method details as of course it's forbidden, but I was seriously contemplating suicide so much that I was vomiting and hallucinating at the thought of it because I knew I was ready and it was even more serious in my mind than the time I took x amount of tablets and ended up in a coma in ICU. She phoned me about a half a hour later, I told her I was actively suicidal ...so much that I can't find the words to express it, anyway, all she said was it's your choice and I am busy with other patients. End of phone call. A very good friend of mine helped me and prevented my suicide attempt. I saw the doctor the very next day and she told me my phone call which I called urgent was completely unacceptable behaviour. What the ....fuck? I thought they were there to help. I'd like to hear your views on this and if possible please tell me who was in the wrong. I feel very mad at her. If I had died I don't know what would have happened to her. Advice please?