Who is Jack Schitt?

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by deathiscoming, Jun 21, 2007.

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    For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

    Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
    Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

    Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

    NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

    Crock O. Schitt

  2. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    Hehehe :tongue:
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    How long did that take you to come up with death? Good post and a lot of fun. Look at all the new members of the Schitt family I was introduced to today. :laugh:
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :laugh: Brilliant..thanks for that :laugh:
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    loooool i love it!! :laugh:
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Didn't they name the newest baby that weighed in at over 12 lbs at birth Large Amounta Schitt?
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    hahahahahahah nice one :tongue: :clap:
  8. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    LOL, thanks for posting that Death. :biggrin:
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