Who knew looking at Facebook could be so depressing...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by someone_, Apr 7, 2008.

  1. someone_

    someone_ Active Member

    I'm severely depressed as it is but this is just pushing my mood to a different level. I've been humiliated in just about every way possible in middle school...there was a plan of 15 people I didn't even know to attack me and stab me. And guess who called all these people? A great fex-friend that had a little fued with me over something out of my control. Someone who heard about the plan and apparently liked me or felt for me went to the principal and stopped it. I was ridiculed in a way that did not only involve me but family too. I was on the verge of killing myself and I used to cut myself (not regulary) so I couldn't even stand up to defend myself. I had some many problems OUTSIDE of school, very serious issues, so I remember one time I actually cried and walked out of school. WHAT THE FUCK. That's so embarassing to me to this day. I don't ever cry. I hate my life but I don't cry, I'm just bitter. But that one time... how embarassing. I feel like such a pussy about that. Talk about letting others win, showing how weak you are, etc. I severed ties with a good friend of mine who did absolutely nothing wrong because of that. I couldn't handle her image of me. I didn't want her to feel sorry for my weakness or have this bad perception of me... I just ignored her. The 2 friendships I formed in middle school went to hell.

    I moved away and started in a new high school and no made fun of me. It started out well. I was friends with some people in the beginning which is totally different for me but nothing lasted. I'm a senior now. I gained no personal experience from this school, no friends whatsoever.

    So, yeah, facebook.. how fucking depressing to see those same people that took a dump on you every single day (or the people who had this perception you were weak) happy and smiling, in events, in parties. Those that laughed at you for being a loser somehow get to live good lives (and don't give me that I don't know what everyone is going through.. they sure find the time to have a good time and have fun and be extroverted, socialize, have a bunch of bimbos go "ooh you're so hot loveeeeee uuuuu xoxoxoxoxo" etc). People that wanted to stab you are now all happy. The weaker ones have changed their image and evolved in those years... they have friends, are no longer insecure taking pictures, partying, socializing. Even the "weird" ones have found their group of friends. I'm seemingly the ONLY ONE who's so stuck. I feel "faded"... gone. It's a horrible feeling. I turned out as people had expected. I let others win and design my current personality. All this bitterness and hate wouldn't have been so strong if it weren't for that period of time... all kinds of humiliation. This is why I've been stuck in the same place. I don't see it ever get better.. it's much harder to meet new people and go out of your shell when you don't have that much confidence. Every activity you're out to do on your own fails.

    This is probably the longest thing I've written in MONTHS. Kudos if you actually go through that...
  2. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    Hey, I totally know what you're going through.

    So many people I know who let's say 'weren't the kindest to me in school' :rolleyes: have totally moved on with their lives now, loads of friends, loads of prospects. It just doesn't seem fair. And to be honest, I know it's my own fault that I let myself stay this way.

    Like, when I was younger, a young teenager, I always imagined myself as a completely different person, looks wise, confidence and personality wise. But I still feel like the same person I did then, a silly little kid, self concious, pretty pathetic.

    And know I look back on all those years and feel like I totally wasted that time, school was horrible, I didn't change, I didn't make use of any oppurtunities. I didn't even learn from my misery, if you know what I mean.

    So now when I see people who were mean or bitchy or treated me like I was below them, when I see how they grew up to be mature adults, seeming to be happy, it just shows me how little I've changed. And that totally depresses me.

    And yeah, even the 'weird kids' in my year, or the 'losers', whatever, people I thought to be below me at school (I know that's a totally silly thing to think), they have friends and are progressing at life.

    And I'm just where I was on the first day of high school.
  3. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    There's a particular girl from school who I dislike on facebook. She seems so happy, enjoying life, she even has a baby now. Normally I wouldn't be so bothered, but she treated me so badly in school (physical abuse as well as mental) and it just seems so unfair.
  4. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Facebook and myspace are both horrendously retarded wastes of bandwidth for attention whoring, elitist motherfuckers.

    In addition to that, they're filled with malicious links and "plug-ins" that can embed themselves in your machine if you don't know what you're doing or are 12.

    Also, fuck rupert murdoch.
  5. Hey - I feel for you... One can be as proud as dismayed to feel like "a square peg in a round-hole world", most especially when it comes to friendship. And it sounds so simple & trite to say "do not compare yourself with others"...however, from the words of Desiderata (by Max Ehrmann),

    "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans..."

    In the end, you are indeed truly unique - though sadly sometimes, people seem all to willing to insist on one being "normal" and fitting in (which for the life of me, has always made me question in disgust what "normal" actually consists of - let alone why anyone would bother to try to aspire to mediocrity).

    There is so much OTHER potential to be found in people that are true individuals (and I happen to personally have a high regard for such - to the point of being rather cynical about those who choose not to embrace being unique). Perhaps (and I'm optimistic about this), you could try and find some groups or associations within your community that suit your personal interests/hobbies/passions (make an actual list if you want, and then go and do a little research) - whatever they might be - and so find like-minded people. You may not find an "instant best friend", but it will expand your horizons and make you feel less isolated. Who knows who you will meet?

    If you're like me, even though having a vast amount of interest in many things, the groups may not be as widely available - but they do exist!

    As for FACEBOOK :mad:
    "attention whores" is rather apt. As well as the insideous way that those who run it conduct themselves and their hidden agendas (and why they started it in the first place). But those who gleefully join up, thinking they've joined "the popular ones", are nothing but lemmings. Willfully complacent and unknowing SUCKERS who are targeted in multiple ways through the information gathering system of Facebook (all of which information is given FREELY by those who join!)....I will NOT join, though a few "friends" have invited me to their pages. I see NO reason whatsoever that I'm obliged to give out my OWN personal information, simply in order to view someone ELSE'S page! :mad: (Buggers!)

    And you know those "Silly" Privacy Policies that one one bothers to read, and happily Agree to?. Here's a small excerpt from the one at Facebook:

    Facebook's privacy policy

    Just for fun, try substituting the words 'Big Brother' whenever you read the word 'Facebook'

    1 We will advertise at you

    "When you use Facebook, you may set up your personal profile, form relationships, send messages, perform searches and queries, form groups, set up events, add applications, and transmit information through various channels. We collect this information so that we can provide you the service and offer personalised features."

    2 You can't delete anything
    "When you update information, we usually keep a backup copy of the prior version for a reasonable period of time to enable reversion to the prior version of that information."

    3 Anyone can glance at your intimate confessions

    "... we cannot and do not guarantee that user content you post on the site will not be viewed by unauthorised persons. We are not responsible for circumvention of any privacy settings or security measures contained on the site. You understand and acknowledge that, even after removal, copies of user content may remain viewable in cached and archived pages or if other users have copied or stored your user content."

    4 Our marketing profile of you will be unbeatable

    "Facebook may also collect information about you from other sources, such as newspapers, blogs, instant messaging services, and other users of the Facebook service through the operation of the service (eg, photo tags) in order to provide you with more useful information and a more personalised experience."

    5 Opting out doesn't mean opting out

    "Facebook reserves the right to send you notices about your account even if you opt out of all voluntary email notifications."

    6 The CIA may look at the stuff when they feel like it

    "By using Facebook, you are consenting to have your personal data transferred to and processed in the United States ... We may be required to disclose user information pursuant to lawful requests, such as subpoenas or court orders, or in compliance with applicable laws. We do not reveal information until we have a good faith belief that an information request by law enforcement or private litigants meets applicable legal standards. Additionally, we may share account or other information when we believe it is necessary to comply with law, to protect our interests or property, to prevent fraud or other illegal activity perpetrated through the Facebook service or using the Facebook name, or to prevent imminent bodily harm. This may include sharing information with other companies, lawyers, agents or government agencies."

    Here is the whole article:


    And here is a further link to many other current articles (if interested):


    Anywaze, I hope this might make your day in some small way, to know that not being "one of THEM" is actually an admirable quality! :smile:
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2008
  6. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    Yeah it pissed me off when I looked at myspace, but it seems most of the people that have pages up where the perverts and the couple of religious people that where at my school. I remember reading an article about how so many tens of thousands of sex offenders accounts where deleted from myspace in one U.S. state alone.

    I'm sure if I created a page I could 'fake' some scene of great party's and add a bunch of people I don't really know or like. :laugh:
  7. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I've always found it funny and amusing. I remember my gf and I looking at a few past people at our schools and realising that people don't change much at all :laugh:

    All those people who need to put on a show, display their social/ lives in such a way are obviously trying to cover up some insecurities don't you think?

    Also I've found MS is usually a place where people form connections online whereas Facebook is usually university/graduate based where people transfer their social lives in real life on to the internet.

    I've never wanted to be part of any group on the internet or in real life/in school, so never have felt like I was in a competition with anyone or that there was anyone 'above' me or 'beneath' me.

    I did get depressed mainly last year when looking at some people at university who were on the course I wanted to be on, (I felt they weren't fully appreciating how lucky they were:dry:) who seemed to be living a completely different life from me, having a great great time all the time, getting 'trashed' all the time and had to display every single weekend on the internet :rolleyes: (whilst I was homeless and my life had fallen apart) but you could see they were unhappy and desperate underneath it all. It was like looking into some alien world, it was so surreal :laugh:. I thought, haven't they gone through war? How can they do those things when I've gone through such life- changing things? It was as if they lived in a completely different artificial world or a world where violence and death only happens on films and they had no experience of things like that (or maybe they did but needed to cover up things like panic, depression and suicide)..

    I won't go into my myspace adventures but y'know, social networking profiles are great fun to analyse. It says a lot about the people and what kind of image they are trying to create and what they might be covering up and insecurites they might have. Social networking profiles are a bit like masks and masks conceal as well as reveal things unintentionally.

    I'd not worry about them. It's all a show. Putting on a show of happiness doesn't mean that they are happy.
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2008
  8. thedudeabides

    thedudeabides Active Member

    i have a facebook.....its the main reason i joined this sight :(. just kidding, i made it to stay on contact with friends who moved/on a video game i stopped playing. its basically an email address for me. but i agree and dislike most of facebook.
  9. I know EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN! I even made a false page on Facebook coz i didn't want anyone to know it was me. I found the girl who pushed me into my first suicide attempt and shes getting married in 8 weeks....BITCH!

    It's not fair............thats life i suppose:blub:
  10. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    I joined facebook for a few weeks.
    Then I felt a terrible disgust and deactivated my account.
    Facebooks is lame. I hate what goes on on facebook.
  11. Sil

    Sil Well-Known Member

    I used facebook for a while, with other friends, but it's quite useless. I know it sucks when you see bi***es and ***holes having fun, maybe the same people who fu**ed your life up (sorry for all these dirty words).
  12. Adam_D

    Adam_D Well-Known Member

    I completely agree with the above post. 90% of people on there are scams, scum and sick. I am sorry to sound intense, but no one likes to be tricked in any way possible and justice must run its course to make it even which is why I scambait not letting them fools know that I am not dumb enough to fall prey to them.

    I think the same for Myspace, again 90% of members on there are either radical, sick-minded, or conniving.

    Hi5 and fanbox has this problem too and I keep getting invites from different people with the name "Erica" and "Erica Connor" and I can tell this is a scammer.
  13. galalleni

    galalleni Well-Known Member

    Setup the facebook when I came to college here - found out the majority of people who use this on my campus are ill-minded or ignorant on social aptitude or courtesy to their peers. Please keep this in mind using these services that no one is guaranteed to be genuine on these (someone I know setup a fake person to be his girlfriend on that service). It is a farce at best - know that here on this forum we are real and speak in such tones.

    Take care and feel free to IM or PM me.
  14. Adam_D

    Adam_D Well-Known Member

    Well said, galalleni. :smile:

    The only thing I can suggest with these profile system websites is that an identity verification system be introduced, so members can prove to other's that their information is legit, despite anti-bot functions are already in the systems to prevent them from getting through.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2008
  15. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

  16. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean....depressing to see the people who mistreated me in school living the high life now...I have a myspace & facebook account myself, but only really use them to keep in touch with my GF and a few other close friends...

    ...my bro was the one who got me into myspace and my GF's cousin introduced us both to Facebook...lol now I'll admit, for the first few days I was hooked and couldn't get enough of it, and thought it was addicting what with all the cool apps/widgets etc - like a new toy :laugh: but after a while, just like every other "toy" you have, it starts to get a bit boring and "so what?" and just gets thrown aside and forgotten about...

    ...my big problem with these social networking sites though are the amount of wannabe porn stars out there who like to spam peoples' inboxes with messages saying "See my adult profile" and "I think you're hot, add me to YIM" or w/e. Honestly, those people make me sick!! And it astounds me that there are some people out there who fall for this crap....so umm....yeah.....nowadays I just set my myspace to private so that only my friends can see it, send messages etc etc, and I only add people I know.....sucks that I have to hide myself from the rest of the world because of all the perverts and psychos out there :dry:
  17. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I think those are interesting, especially the young girls who get self worth doing those things or create their online identity in such a way. I was looking at a girl from my secondary school and she had her portfolio full of glamour model type pictures but her profile was like one of a little kid (lots of txt spk) she hadn't changed at all. It was kind of disturbing.

    But those young girls who feel like they need to display and sell themselves in such a way suggests a lot about 1. their sexuality. they obviously don't own it and never will that's why I find it so disturbing-they remind me of my sister 2. how they feel about themselves which is very much tied to selling to a certain audience of men, 3. 14 year olds imitating porn stars which they might think is the only way to be an 'adult' or to getting status within their group (being sexually provocative in an unimaginative staged way dictated by boys or men). Not only that, but peoples' reactions to them says a lot. Calling those girls 'sluts' and 'whores' and belittling them in such a way doesn't take away the huge social slurs contained in those words. If one wants to talk about 'child abuse' and 'misogyny' then perhaps the first step is to look at one's own (men and women, boys and girls) reactions to girls who display themselves in such a way.
  18. A Self Made Loser

    A Self Made Loser Active Member

    Its funny, I join that site because a friend of mine told me to join to view the childhood school picture he put up of us and many other old friends.

    But what struck me straight away was seeing many of the people I went to school with posing on their profiles, promoting in huge text print their attention self loving look at me social event pictures.

    Pathetic that so many people are sadly like this. Then when I came across a few of my friends in person over the months all they would talk about is how many friends they got added or who added them and how good they look and their profiles (these guys are now not my friends)

    Tragic really, I feel I may have cut my nose off to spite my face so to speak as now I have no friends but I couldn't take that type of bullshit talk. Trouble is the majority seems to act like this and I am in a very small minority who feels facebook is just for insecure arragont idiots.

    But thinking independently like this over the years, not conforming to what is socially acceptable has lead me down the suicidel path but I cannot reform to "fit in". Facebook blows. My account will be terminated.
  19. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I don't understand this either. My mother told me that my sister's friend, now at university has been plastering up drunk pictures of her with naked men and water bottles in her mouth :laugh:....I suppose it's the whole thing of 'doing the university thing having a good time.:huh:' And then some people are so shocked and surprised when they get turned down in job interviews because employers KNOW HOW TO USE THE INTERNET!! :eek:hmy:

    I've heard that offices and places around London have actually blocked facebook from their computers as people were spending all day bitching and doing competitive work in 'how far they've got in life' and all the anxiety surrounding that. It seems after you come out of university nothing really changes socially.

    I'd hate to be found out by people in my past I have absolutely NO interest in getting to know. That's why I'd never post my real name and things like that on site like that errrghh. It's like being haunted by the dead........it's frightening to think about. (But it's happened to me already on mental health forums I won't go into that though... :dry:)
    Last edited: May 30, 2008
  20. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest