who really cares?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by mpang123, Aug 20, 2013.

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  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Ultimately i think God knows my sufferings and have mercy on me. I hate these mood swings and im getting sick and tired deling with it for more than half of my life. I dont care if People think im selfish but they really don't know the insanity i go through everyday. All i wish is to ne dead cuz obviousl . I'm not tough enough to make it through. PPeople will judge me because they don'ttthink the way i am. I can't wait for another opportunity to try to end my life. Life goes on and the world will still keep spinning with or without me. My birthdayis on fFriday and i wish i can do something soon. I just dont have a plan but only willful thinking. One day, only one day is when my wish will come through. Until then, i have a stigma.
     
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    oh, mpang, I am so sorry you are suffering so much. So much pain you write about. My wish for you is that things can, and will get better. And you will be alive to see it. I wish you a happier next year of your life. And I am so very sorry for the suffering you are feeling.
     
  3. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i am sorry you are suffering so much

    but remember we are here and we care
     
  4. elmagico

    elmagico New Member

    what can i tell you?, im sorry you fell like that, i know how it fells cause im felling same way myself. at the begining i was very stress a lot of anguish sadness panic anxiety but once i see the posibility that i can end my life and i dont have to sufer no more a sort of calmness came to me, like the knowing that i dont have to fell this way forever.
    i have been mentaly diferent since i can remember , struglling all my youth trying to fit in, well, its imposible, now im 55 , i fell old and tired, i dont even have the money to buy more medicines, or food, or anything.
    last december i tried suicide for the fourth time, i took a lot of seroquel and a lot of clonazepan mixed with alcohol, my exgirlfriend found me like 12 hours later an took me to the hospital and then she put me in a psychiatric facility , i dont remember much, i was uncouncious for several days and when i woke up i was in a hospital bed with my hands tied to it. sorry about the gramar and the spelling but english is not my lenguange, im in mexico, in a small town.
    in the hospital they put me on risperdal and effexor and i felt fine but like a zombie, like if i were stoned out of my mind.
    i just could take that medication for two months more or less and then i changed the risperdal for abilify and it was much better. but my suicidal thoughts have been still with me, they dont go away.
    i have a daughter, and two dogs, thats all my family, i have no job, no money, and soon no food also.
    im tired of trying suicide without making it, and with all my expierences of early atempts i have become afraid of slashing my wrists again, or taking pills and dont die and just become sicker.
    so i think im just going to stop eating, today is my second day with no food, i just drink diet coke , i have two left, and water i have, all the food is going to be for the dogs, that worries me because the food is not much .
    but like i said, im tired of stugling and now that i decided to stop eating sudenly i fell calm.
    im new here, i didnt know where to post this so i just posted it here , im sorry if im breaking any rules.
    let see what hapens, day 2 today.
     
  5. LostInMyDaydreams

    LostInMyDaydreams Well-Known Member

    It saddens me when I read posts like this, cause I hate seeing anyone who has to go through this kind of suffering. I suffer from major mood swings as well, and it gets hard for me to get out of bed sometimes. But trust me we all care. Hope things get better for you. ~hugs
     
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry your mood swings are hard...mine are too...I'm experimenting in trying to sway my bad moods to a better one by remembering good things in my life, or watching funny stuff...sometimes it works, other times it doesnt...what I really hate is being stuck in my head and not being about to do anything until it goes away...

    please don't kill yourself over that...perhaps an adjustment to meds is needed if you take any?
     
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