Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept loner

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ldub20, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Can go FUCK THEMSELVES. Seriously, the world would be a better place if these people just shut the fuck up. Can't you see that offering that advice to me makes me want to kill myself EVEN MORE? And can't you see that that is the EQUIVALENT of telling a fucking anorexic that said anorexic can be happy and successul if he/she remains an anorexic? If you don't agree with the previous sentence, YOU ARE INSANE. Why can't everybody get it through their heads that success and happiness AIN'T possibilties for me if i remain socially inept? If I am a loner and feel like an outcast. Being a loner might work for some people, but guess what? So does going a week without food for others? Whoever tells me to be content with being a loner and says I can be successful and happy if I remain one, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN! People like that are CONTRIBUTING to my death!
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    You do not have to get verbally abusive hun these people are just trying to reach out to you trying to give you advice to help and if it does not help then just do not take it in.
    You spewing all this hatred back at them and others will only keep you more isolated
     
  3. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l


    Please don't shout at us. We hurt as easily/ as often / as much as you do. Plus I'm not handy technically so above quote includes my responses. Not trying to alter your words.
     
  4. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    That may be the case, but let me give you a hypothetical analogy. Say there is a support group for recovering anorexics and one of the leaders of the group asserts that you can be successful and happy if you remain an anorexic (as long as you don't let the disease kill you and as long as you can keep the disease under control). Remain an anorexic or keep up a bony appearance and go a LONG WHILE without food. The leader says that and also adds "you can walk, talk, and communicate in every way possible can't you? So there is no need to hate yourself or your current situation." Wouldn't the anorexic react the same way I did? This analogy is the equivalent of my original post. If you think it ain't, you are insane. I've got every right to react the way I did because not only is their "advice" falling on deaf ears but thh made me feel MORE SUICIDAL than ever before. These people can go fuck themselves. But nevertheless, thanks for the help, both of you.
     
  5. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    I really don't get why you seem to think that people here have been telling you when instead it really just seems your getting all shitty at users because the advice they offered you is not what you wanted to hear.

    But really the problem it is seems that despite how much bellyaching you go on about it sucks to be lonely, you no interest whatsoever in doing anything to improve your situation.

    Until you stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something you are going to remain lonely.
     
  6. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    Ian, it hasn't been users here, it's been support groups that I've been going to. I hope that the next support group that I visit won't feed me this bullshit. But this "advice" that they offer, saying I can be successful and happy if I remain a loner, falls on deaf ears and makes me want to kill myself more.
     
  7. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    we love you here dubby.
     
  8. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    What were the support groups for i.e. for a specific diagnosis, or more general? Ask because we all need support but it has to be the right support for us at the time.
     
  9. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    My disease.
     
  10. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    Can understand anger when a peer support group doesn't understand. Is one to one easier?
     
  11. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    ^^^ considering how he has reacted to people on this forum who have given him good advice, tbh I really can't help but feel that they didn't say that and he is just angry because what they said is not what they wanted to hear.


    Can you seriously stop with this comparison with anorexia shit. There are much more to eating disorders than simply not wanting to eat....Not to mention not only is it annoying but also it comes across as both highly insensitive and whinny. Being lonely and having aspergers is not going to kill a person however having an eating disorders might so no one in their ight mind would tell someone to stop being anorexic
     
  12. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    Think the anorexia issue is a distraction here. This site is for whoever needs it. At times many of us may seem" insensitive" or "whiney". 1112222 how about demononstrating your sensitivity. Dubby how are you?
     
  13. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    The comparing of illnesses needs to stop, or I'm going to close this thread.
     
  14. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    WildCherry, wouldn't you call this kind of advice counterproductive and offensive:

    No, suicide isn't an option. There are plenty, plenty of people who are loners and are still happy with their life. Not having social interaction is quite tough, but manageable. Except for being the Actual Advice Mallard, I am also the Socially awkward penguin and I believe that being socially awkward is difficult, but you can live with it, especially if you don't want to change it (and actually feels good about it).

    Anyone who offers this kind of advice can go fuck themselves!
     
  15. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    No, I don't see that as offensive. Maybe it isn't what you want to hear, but then again, advice doesn't always come in the form we want.

    It's obvious you want your situation to change. But in order for it to change, YOU'RE going to have to make some changes. The changes aren't all going to happen around you. Getting angry and telling people to go fuck themselves when they're trying to offer you advice (even if it's advice you don't agree with) is only going to push you further down instead of helping you along. You have to be open to suggestions, open to the possibility of trying to change your way of thinking.
     
  16. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    WildCherry, telling me that I can be successful and happy as a loner only makes me want to kill myself MORE. And Ian, is the post with that advice in line with anything people here have offered me? Telling me to be content with being a loner is telling me to give up. Death is easier than living with Asperger's Syndrome! How would you feel if somebody told you advice that pretty much tells you to give up and be content with your situation as it is, knowing you are powerless to change it. What do people expect me to gain by telling me that I can be successful if I learn to be content with being a loner? If I realized that loneliness had benefits? Fuck these people. Why should I learn to be content with being a loner? Is that my only choice? Or will other possibilities take a hella of a lot of work?
     
  17. HarleyTwin

    HarleyTwin Staff Alumni

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    Dubby, not once have I heard WC or Ian say you need to be content or accept being a loner. They are both saying (which I agree with) that if you want change, you have to make the effort to change it yourself. That is not telling you to be content or happy with your current situation. It's also not telling you you can be content or happy in your situation as it stands, either. Because obviously, you're not happy.

    All that is being said here is what you need to hear. You want change? You want to be a little less socially restricted than you are now? Make the steps to change it. It *is* possible with the right sort of support. Whether it be one-on-one therapy or what works better. Obviously, no one who is miserable is going to become happy or successful by staying miserable and expecting it to fall in their lap. You are not the only person struggling with such socially in-ept issues - and I'm sure there's many who have struggled just as much as you do on a day to day basis, but it can be overcome. You just need to make the appropriate move forward YOURSELF. You may not be the popular Prom King (hell, who the heck would want to be that arrogant is beyond me) but at least you may become a little more at ease within yourself.
     
  18. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    I didn't assert that they were telling me that, I told them what I thought of people who told me to be content with being a loner.
     
  19. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    Nobody on this site has asserted that you can be happy and successful if you remain socially inept.

    Please could you try to talk about how hurt you feel and how that makes you angry?

    I do that too. Hugs, Thea.
     
  20. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Re: Whoever asserts that I can be happy and successful if I remain a socially inept l

    I didn't say anyone here has. It's been outside help that've fed me crap. Like the Aspie support groups I've given a chance to and Actual Advice Mallard, who isn't a member here but is part of Yahoo Answers.