Why am I afraid to stand up for myself?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Feb 23, 2016.

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  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    If people insult me and hurt my feelings, I usually just let it slide. I am so used to it after hearing everything bad about myself for so many years. I keep saying I will take a stand, to not let them treat me that way, but I get scared. It's weird, it's like I don't want anyone to be upset with me, to offend them or to make them angry with me, even though they obviously don't care if they do the same to me. How do I stop worrying about things like that and just speak my mind?
     
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  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I feel the same way you do and try to avoid conflict when possible. The key to this is to be yourself. If something doesn't seem right and you are unhappy or not impressed with it, let that be known. I know it's hard, I have only lately started standing up to myself, mainly to my brother and now that I have he knows not to piss me off anymore. I am quite fiery at times but yeah avoid aggravation when possible. I think if you just be yourself then you will set yourself free and be able to cover your corner.
     
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  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    A lot of times I just ignore them, and they get the hint that I don't want to talk to them anymore or I am mad at them. It is probably the wrong way to go about it, but I am sensitive to conflict.
     
  4. Fluffypingu

    Fluffypingu Safety and Support Chat Pro SF Supporter

    hugs hun sorry life and people are treating you bad stay strong *hug1
     
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  5. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to hear this, and especially that people treated you so bad in the past, and still do. You deserve better than that!

    Learning to speak up for yourself is much easier said than done, but it is possible. It takes a lot of trying, and courage to keep trying again after a let down. Once you start to speak out and you get successes with that, 'save' the successes within yourself and remember them.
    Another important thing is to tell yourself that you deserve respect. From others and from yourself hun!
     
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  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you, I will :)
     
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you, I will keep that all in mind the next time I face a situation like that :)
     
  8. Purple_Thorn

    Purple_Thorn Well-Known Member

    Hey Witty_Sarcasm. I'm sorry that this has been happening to you. I wish I could just stand up for you.

    I'm the same way as you, I try and let things slide, even if they hurt. But when things happen to my friends, I become strong.

    I guess it's hard, becoming your own friend, your own advocate, your own superhero, but I think that would help. Recognizing that you are important in your life. In fact, you are the most important person in your life. And if something hurts, then you should say so. Even if saying so requires words that are bluntly honest. Sometimes, you can't really care about how other people will interpret your caring for yourself. Because only you matter.

    If you have good friends that are doing this, then also just sitting down and telling them it hurts... Well that would be great. Good friends will understand and will try to help, try to do the best they can.

    Remember, you are the most important person in your life. So treat yourself this way.
     
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  9. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you :) I know I should stand up for myself, but it seems that when I do, people still don't take me seriously. Some days I feel it is just easier to give up and not deal with anything anymore.
     
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