Why am I alive?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Believe, May 12, 2008.

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  1. Believe

    Believe Well-Known Member

    Tonight I just wish I didn't exist. I got my bachelor's degree like a good little girl, now no one will even hire me and I'm working at f-ing Walmart, living with my abusive mother, hours away from all my friends and support network... I keep drinking more and more at night just to be able to sleep, and I just feel like I have no future at all. And after I think that, I think that maybe I'm not meant to be alive since no sort of future is falling into place for me...

    Why can't I just get some happiness for once in my life? Why am I being punished by God - what did I do wrong?
  2. Chiller

    Chiller New Member

    Hello, Believe.

    Trust me, you haven't done anything wrong, I don't know of what you got your bachelor's degree, but you shouldn't lose hope to find your ideal job, perhaps you've already tried all of this, but make phone calls, look for ads in the papers from people looking to hire someone dedicated to your specific field of specialty, looking for some more job opportunities over the Internet helps as well.

    I know that it's difficult to stop drinking once you're already too deep into it, but think about all of the money that you're wasting on all that booze, you're only feeling as bad as you allow yourself to, it's all a state of mind, you can control your own thoughts and feelings instead of letting them control you, the power to change things for the better resides within you all along :wink:
  3. janie

    janie Well-Known Member

    It sucks when at the end of your day you dont have a nice home you want to return to doesnt it? :sad: Things do change tho- good things and bad so hang in there. Also you're never out of support- though your friends are far away there will always be people who are in the same boat who are willing to listen and comfort you- here on SF for example :)

    Keep going for the jobs u want to do - i know people who are graduates living at home who aren't even trying to look for a job (I guess thats their nature) at least you are working and still trying to get to where you want
    Last edited by a moderator: May 13, 2008
  4. nedflanders

    nedflanders Well-Known Member

    You're presuming that God will run your life for you. That's why you conclude that you're not meant to even exist if your life hasn't come together in a satisfying way, and why you're angry with God on that account.

    God doesn't seem to work that way.

    He seems to value human freedom.

    So, unfortunately, you're on your own in fixing your life. But on the plus side, that means that God doesn't have it in for you, and that you might be able to find a good way of living. It's not a childlike hope, that someone else will fix things for you, but it's an adult hope, that you might be able to fix it yourself.
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