Why am I attracted to chaotic relationships?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by AsphyxiateOnMisery, Jan 15, 2012.

  1. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    And by chaotic, I don't mean abusive (though sometimes it ends up being that way)...just not normal. I'm attracted to people who are damaged. To tragedy...Romeo and Juliet style. Basically to the type of relationship most people would not approve of. That's what appeals to me. I can't deal with plainness. My love life has to be dramatic screenplay material. Why?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 15, 2012
  2. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    I know this may not sound like a serious answer, but by all means it is. This is how I answer all my questions that are similar to this one. I answer them with another question.

    Why not?
     
  3. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Well, because it gets overly stressful trying to keep up with all the drama sometimes.
     
  4. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Are there any good sides to it?
     
  5. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Yes, of course. If there weren't any, it wouldn't appeal to me lol.
     
  6. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    And therefore the question "why not?" I'm sorry for being so confusing, I tend to say things and expect people to immediately understand the meaning I'm trying to convey. Basically what I'm getting at is that things are just the way they are, and that question is my way of coming to terms with it and also to be a smartass every now and again :p
     
  7. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I don't really know what kind of answer I expected to be honest. I doubt anyone really knows WHY I do something. It just sort of occurred to me so I guess I just wanted to talk about it. There are good and bad things about it though.
     
  8. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    That's what I'm trying to say, I guess. It seems that in your case that while there are definitely good things to come out of "chaotic relationships," there are also things that bother you about them. Just keep in mind that once it gets abusive, nothing about it is good. The things is, no matter how good something may be, there is always a catch. It's up to you whether you think the catches are worth the rewards.
     
  9. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    It's not that I think the rewards are worth it as much as I feel the pain, otherwise, isn't worth it.
     
  10. morgan1

    morgan1 Member

    I think its because they're not boring. I've gone from drug-dealer to depressed to high functioning cocaine addict, and the one thing they have in common is the element of drama.
    We've been conditioned to believe that those "constant struggle, uphill battle" relationships are the most rewarding, kinda like you were saying about Romeo and Juliet. It's an feature in almost every movie. Do you believe the hype?
     
  11. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    I remember having to read Romeo and Juliet in English class - it was definitely a romantic type story. Even though I wouldn't be involved with such a relationship because I haven't found the one girl yet. I think you enjoy these chaotic relationships because their not as boring as normal ones. I believe it's okay to have a chaotic type relationship as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

    Trevor,
     
  12. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Maybe you think you can change them or something? or maybe you just don't want to feel complacent in your relationships. Either way, I don't think it's a bad thing.
     
  13. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I think morgan1 was right. I'm impulsive, by nature, and can't keep my attention on any one thing for too long. I need some sort of excitement.
     
  14. Pembinga

    Pembinga Member

  15. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    It doesn't apply to me, no. I think it's actually quite ridiculous to claim that anyone wants pain. Just because my actions keep it going, doesn't mean I like it that way or that I know how to be anything else. And I sure as hell don't seek out people specifically to try to "fix" them. I'm too much of a misanthrope for that. Also, the fact that whomever wrote the article relates any of this to the menstrual cycle and capitalizes words that don't need to be capitalized, tells me it's a huge load of crap. Like I said, morgan1 made the best point.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2012
  16. Pembinga

    Pembinga Member

    Right, because Eckhart Tolle knows absolutly nothing.

    You stated that this form of "excitement" will tend to have a negative effect on you eventually.

    Quote from earlier on in the thread: "Well, because it gets overly stressful trying to keep up with all the drama sometimes." That, and you classified this type of relationship as chaotic. If these types of relationships become overly stressful yet you keep on pursuing them, what does that tell you?
     
  17. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Apparently, he doesn't know how to properly write English. At the very least.

    Not eventually, it does have negative effects on me, but as ExtraSoap and I already concluded, it has both good sides and bad sides to it.

    It tells me that I need them to keep myself entertained.
     
  18. Pembinga

    Pembinga Member

    Entertained via negative effects on you? Sounds like a textbook pain-body to me.

    Because you missed the concept earlier, here's a description in more plain english:
    http://www.oprah.com/oprahsbookclub/Awakening-Exercise-Dissolving-the-Pain-Body

    Watch out for any sign of unhappiness in yourself in whatever form—it may be the awakening pain-body. This can take the form of irritation, impatience, a somber mood, a desire to hurt, anger, rage, depression, a need to have some drama in your relationship and so on. Catch the pain-body the moment it awakens from its dormant stage.

    If this applies (which it does), A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle is a very good read.
     
  19. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Apparently you missed the part where I said there are positive things about it too. That was about as plain English as plain English could get...so plain, in fact, that there were errors in grammar and spelling throughout. And I am not about to read Oprah instead, okay? Let it go. Drama isn't always a bad thing.