why am i bothering

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by devi, Jan 9, 2007.

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  1. devi

    devi New Member

    not sure why i am bothering to post
    talking doesn't help
    can't talk about how bad i really feel
    especially not to those close to me
    every day i wake up wishing i could just close my eyes and die
    every day the pain is too much to bear
    the "temporary problem" has been going on for more than 30 years now... people have promised me that it gets better, but i just go on suffering... day after day... year after year...
    i'm not afraid to die, i'm afraid of NOT dying
    knowing the consequences of trying and failing is the only thing that keeps me here
    i don't know how a person can survive this pain
    the anxiety is debilitating
    every day is a struggle
    a battle
    i feel like i am wearing out
    i am so tired
    i just want to sleep, but the nightmares...
    ha! every waking moment is a nightmare
    those in my sleep pale in comparison

    oh well

    thanks for listening..... if anyone is
  2. Gi-Jane

    Gi-Jane Active Member

    yes and not just someone is ...allot of ppl here listen to u and see what u say.......
    hope u will be ok..and if u need someone to talk 2 or just talk 2....add me on msn.........
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Wish I could offer you more than an ear hun, have you tried anti-depressants?
  4. devi

    devi New Member

    I've tried just about every anti-depressant out there. Paxil worked for awhile... several years actually, but eventually stopped being effective because I had taken it for so long.

    I take Trileptal now for a mood stabilizer, and it helps a little. Without it, I am REALLY morbid!

    I have a name of a doc that my regular medical doctor says is good, but I have been too anxious to call! Makes sense, huh? Someone who might be able to give me the help I'm dying for (almost literally), and I'm too deep in anxiety and depression to actually dial the damn number.
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