okay, so for awhile i stopped eating. i stopped eating completely. then i started eating 1 meal a day. one small meal. then i went to the doctor and i found out i developed hypoglycemia. so now i HAVE to eat. or else i will get really sick, pass out, get diabetes, go into a diabetic coma, then die. this depresses me so much because now im supposed to eat every two hours. and as much as i need to and i know i need to i cant. i have started eating more regular meals however, but then some days i get so sick of myself i throw it all up and yell at myself in the mirror. i feel so fat. i'm obsessing over food. i dont want to anymore. but i want to be thin. i want a perfect body. i feel like im worthless without one. i feel like im only valueable if im pretty. I just want to be able to relax, eat a bunch of chocolate and not worry about fat sticking to my bones. i dont know why i do this to myself. I need to eat. I dont want diabetes. I dont want to feel sick. i dont want to go into a coma i dont want to die. i just dont want to eat either. and another thing is since i've had been eating so much more i get hungry more often and it drives me insane! i used to never get hungry and now i am like all the time. and when i get bored i want to go eat but then if i do i throw it up because i cant stand letting that food digest. will this go on forever? i want it to stop...i feel like i've lost control.