why am i doing this to myself?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Passion, Feb 24, 2007.

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  1. Passion

    Passion Well-Known Member

    okay, so for awhile i stopped eating.
    i stopped eating completely.
    then i started eating 1 meal a day. one small meal.
    then i went to the doctor and i found out i developed hypoglycemia.
    so now i HAVE to eat. or else i will get really sick, pass out, get diabetes, go into a diabetic coma, then die.
    this depresses me so much because now im supposed to eat every two hours.
    and as much as i need to and i know i need to i cant.
    i have started eating more regular meals however, but then some days i get so sick of myself i throw it all up and yell at myself in the mirror.
    i feel so fat.
    i'm obsessing over food. i dont want to anymore. but i want to be thin. i want a perfect body. i feel like im worthless without one. i feel like im only valueable if im pretty.
    I just want to be able to relax, eat a bunch of chocolate and not worry about fat sticking to my bones.
    i dont know why i do this to myself.
    I need to eat.
    I dont want diabetes.
    I dont want to feel sick.
    i dont want to go into a coma
    i dont want to die.
    i just dont want to eat either. and another thing is since i've had been eating so much more i get hungry more often and it drives me insane! i used to never get hungry and now i am like all the time. and when i get bored i want to go eat but then if i do i throw it up because i cant stand letting that food digest.
    will this go on forever?
    i want it to stop...i feel like i've lost control.
     
  2. Stray Kitten

    Stray Kitten Active Member

    I've never heard of anyone developing diabetes from being malnourished. Hypoglycemia can be dangerous though, it can lead to dizziness, nausea, loss of consciousness, and lots of other icky things.

    I went through a period of starving myself through high school, and also ended up hypoglycemic. My advise to you, if you can't stomach eating so regularly, is to have at least one good, balanced meal a day (carbohydrates provide the sugars your body needs to stave off hypoglycemia, if you don't want to eat too sugary food) and try keeping a packet of polo-mints (NOT sugar free) or any other kind of mint with a little sugar in, and having them throughout the day. The sugar will help keep your blood sugar levels up without being a big thing to eat, and the carbohydrate in your meal will stop your blood sugar from crashing to dangerous levels.

    If you can manage them, packets of crisps, fruit, and milk also have carbohydrates in.
     
  3. Valiant

    Valiant Member

    One quick question: how many kg do you weigh? You sound like you're very thin.
     
  4. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    did you develope hypoglycemia due to your lack of nourishment or have you had it all along?
     
  5. Lucie

    Lucie Well-Known Member

    So you can get hypoglecemia from not eating? o.o How long does it take to get that?
     
  6. Passion

    Passion Well-Known Member


    i dont know how many kg...i weigh 135 pounds.
     
  7. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I knew you could get relativity low blood sugar from not eating (4mmol or something similar) but I didn't realise it could drop to the point of hypoglycaemia. Also diabetes is possible in any situation, be it type 1 or type 2.
     
  8. Henry Krinkle

    Henry Krinkle Member

    Why don't you just eat some salad and keep a balanced diet and excercise? How can you possibly get fat if you do all that?
     
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