I've got the notion that ending my life could be a considerable alternative for the past 10 years. In fact, I visited dal.net's #suicide quite frequently in late 2000, early 2001, and was thinking about methods and stuff. I was a loner, I considered myself a loser, I had social problems, a misfit... A lot changed in 10 years, and through almost all this time, I did not think about suicide - at least until the past few months. A lot changed, but my feelings did not. I am stuck in a place I don't like, in a job I don't enjoy, and every day I seem to be doomned by the fact I'll be stuck on it for the rest of my life. I am also stuck in a happyless marriage, which I took simply because she was the only person who agreed to stay with me. She is a good person, but I feel trapped in a relationship I must maintain. She is childish, and I have to pay up her college education - and it doesn't look like she'll graduate at any time. Also, my father has been diagnosed with brain cancer, and is in need of much care. I have no free time, worried about his treatment costs, and I've always concerned and worried about his well being and what will happen to him. He was the closest person I had in my life, and now... I don't know what's going to happen. I dispise myself, still being a friend-less pathetic misfit, ugly and with no self steem. My plan was to wait until my father situation is over, then kill myself and leave enough money for my wife to conclude her studies and live on our apartment until she gets a good job - she might marry someone who's better for her. I just need a good method and gathering up guts to do it. The only idea I have is to jump out of the building... If you guys have any ideas, I'll apreciate.