Why am I here?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by johnsmythe, Jul 4, 2007.

  1. johnsmythe

    johnsmythe Well-Known Member

    I've asked myself that question before and for some reason it never really sank in when I thought about the answer.

    Until tonight that is.

    I suddenly began to seriously think about the answer to that question.

    I can't see a purpose in my life... I don't see happiness in my future. I can't stop thinking "Is that all there is?". It seems to me that the expected course of one's life should be to growup (i.e. mature), get a job, get married, raise a family, retire, die. It so utterly depresses me to think that that is all that awaits me in this lifetime... that I'm destined for nothing more then a lifetime of boredom followed by an empty ending that will be forgotten forever.

    Is that what awaits me? a meaningless existence that will be but a whisper in the annals of history?

    Some might say that all you need in life to be happy is love and friends and family and what not but being someone whos never experienced love and has no friends, I'm wondering if it's even worth going on... if the only thing that will make me happy is something I'll never have then what's the point?

    Why do I think this way? Why do I truely believe I'm meant for something more, something great? Am I delusional? Am I so far gone that I'll tell myself anything just to stay alive for one more day?

    This depression is killing me slowly... has been for years and it's gotten to the point where I can't even fathom the importance of anything. What's point of doing something if in the end it will have been as if nothing had happened?

    I don't know what I expect the answer to be... I don't know if any answer would really change anything... but I just can't stop thinking about it...

    Thanks for reading my post. That felt kinda good writing it out.
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey John, I read all your post but I wanted to highlight that part in particular because I think it is important. I am pleased to hear that you haven't given up hope and I'm glad that you're still here and you're hoping for a good future, don't give up that hope.

    You're thinking the way you are because you are depressed and I know of people who do think that way. It's the typical 'boring' image to grow up, get married, have children, work, retire then die. It is the 'expected' of every person on this planet but we know it doesn't always happen that way. Some people never get married, some don't have children, every single person on this planet is different.

    If we do get married, have children etc, things happen in between making our life the way it is. Personal experiences, health matters, personal achievements such as sport, holidays, traveling the world, trying new foods, hobbies etc.

    What are your hobbies? Do you have any dreams? No matter how extreme or unobtainable you think they are, I'd like to know them. :)

    Are you on any medication for depression? Have you spoken to a therapist or anyone about how you are feeling?

    Take care of yourself. :hug: