I have to talk myself out of this every single day. I've asked a few questions in other forums and have yet to receive an answer. In case you're wondering, no one knows what the purpose of life is. I've asked too many times. The purpose seems to be to sleep around, get drunk, get high, and work a job. The only one of those things I do is the job part. I desperately need a real reason to be here or I see absolutely no reason to stay. And we keep having kids. I don't understand how anyone can do that--when you have a baby, you can giggle and smirk about the sexual escapade that led to that baby, but think about it: you've just sentenced another life to 60-80 years here. What is the real purpose of life? Did you bring them here for that? "Welcome to the planet. All that's here is deviance and self-indulgence. Hope you can fill your time with that. Be sure to pay all your bills." That's a life??? Especially if that baby is a girl. You have the media and everybody walking around that comes within earshot and eyeshot of that girl telling her her body is public property and she had better dress like she knows that. Look at the boys. Look at the men. What do you see? T-shirts and jeans. Still, in 2011, they can dress like people. Look at the girls. Look at the women. Dare to say anything and they'll have a fit because they can't seem to see that anything at all comes between 'puritan scullery maiden' and 'hooker.' Are we that stupid? There's your equal rights. We're still in that box, they're never going to let us out of that box, and we're too stupid to see it. So giggle, giggle, smirk, sex. Giggle, giggle, smirk, drunk. And giggle, giggle, smirk, high. This is what we're supposed to fill 60-80 years with? I was lied to. I looked at my paternal grandparents and saw a marriage over 50 years old. I saw love. I can't have that. It's passe'. I looked at my maternal grandparents and saw a marriage over 60 years. I saw love. I can't have that. It's puritan. What I can have now is giggle, giggle, smirk, get drunk, get high, bed hop, do threesomes, 'can I pee on you,' party, party, party. Well, there's nothing there but torment, heartache, and drama, and you get to the end of your life and have N O T H I N G. I should stick around for that? Anything there was that was here and real for any baby has been ripped apart and ground under. Laugh if you want. All that stuff is cool, right? We fell for the flash and banter of a well-dressed idiot. What's cool about that? It's been 20 years for me. TWENTY. I am not entitled to any affection. I'm entitled to get hit on by married men, men asking me to be part of an orgy, and men wanting to urinate and defecate on me. I say 'no' and of course I'm the uptight one. What does any of that crap lead to? Wow. You had so much fun that you forgot to look around and see that you don't have even one single thing--that crap got you nothing. That's the purpose of life? No. I did not get brought here for that garbage. Where is the real stuff that life is supposed to made of? What's left? Why am I here? We didn't come from apes. We turned into apes. There's a distinct difference. I'm all hooked up and ready to go. Give me a real reason to stay.