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Why am I isolating myself?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by kyle88, Sep 19, 2010.

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  1. kyle88

    kyle88 Well-Known Member

    I dunno whats wrong with me... it's like I purposely isolate myself, but at the same time don't want to be lonely... I dunno why... it's gotten really bad this summer...

    Havn't hanged out with friends or done anything really, yesterday morning was the first time someone other than a family member texted me just to say hi... at first I didn't even want to respond, and I then I stopped and realized thats a reason why I'm so lonely, because I've isolated myself, I turn down friends when they want to hang out, and do nothing with my time... I forced myself to reply, and it was nice texting with her for a little bit...

    I dunno whats wrong, why am I isolating myself? It's like I do it without even thinking about how it's keeping me isolated, subconsciously...

    Anyone gone through or going through something similar in terms of isolating themselves, but at the same time not wanting to be lonely? do you know why you're behaving that way?
  2. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    Hi Kyle, I too do exactly that. I tend to wallow in self pity at home, wishing people would invite me out and not leave me out but when they do, i either ignore their calls/texts or i say im busy. as far as I can see it, the reason I do this is sometimes down to the fact that I do actually want to go out but I dont feel I am "cool" enough or good enough to hang out with them. Im one of those people that likes to blend in and hanging out with people like that would only exaggerate my being there. I do however hang out with one guy I met on here. He understands me and we can talk to each other. He also is bipolar like me. I dont know if this is the situation with you but you asked if there are people who feel the same as you. so, yes. Me! If you need to chat, just PM me hun. :hug:
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I hate this feeling! :(. When you're alone you just wonder why. Sometimes I just don't feel comfortable, or as Sam said; not cool enough. Like I just don't fit in. Of course this just feeds the already existing depression resulting in me feeling worse. It just eggs itself on. It's hard to deal with at times. Small things can make me feel happy, like feeling as though I look good. Giving me a bit of a confidence boost.

    I'd like to look into getting some meds for anxiety because once I stop doing things I just don't do anything at all(even though I don't do much either way) and I stay inside until school. So medication might be able to help with me getting out and actually doing something, or I hope atleast.
  4. clairedelune

    clairedelune Wanderer

    Hi! Just want you to know that I'm one of those people who feel the same way you do. It's like when people around me give me the opportunity to have fun, I usually feel lazy and not on the go. It seems like it would be better if I stay at home knowing that being with them would still make me seem unnoticed. I just usually end up being like a wallflower. I actually don't understand myself at all. There seems no one who can make me act naturally when we're together except some of my family. In short, I really don't know what can make me happy. But at one point, there are very simple things that could brighten up my day but still keep me sulking at the end of it. Bipolar, maybe. I also do not want to show that I am suffering from loneliness.
  5. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    I also isolate. When im around people i seem to sap the fun out of the room. When im not there people tell me what anice time they have. I am the most boring person around so i find it easier to observe from the outside. Its better for every one. I do get asked out for work do's and things but i find myself avoiding them for the above reason. I just haven't got anything interesting to bring to add to a conversation, even though im not stupid it can take me a while to realise what everyone is talking about. I think for me its easier to be alone than mocked. Even though like you i do really miss interaction.
    Isolating yourself is awful and needs to be stopped before it gets too far.
    i wish you all the best:hugtackles:
  6. clairedelune

    clairedelune Wanderer

    Wow I'm not alone. I'm kind of boring too and there seems nothing I can do to please others. That's what I feel. Or that's what we feel. But I guess each one of us has something to be proud of and appreciated for. We just don't get to realize them. :)
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I too isolate.. I have been like this for over 20 years..I stay in my bedroom all the time.. Even when theres no one here I still stay in my room..I pushed all my friends away years ago because they all got high and I got out of that lifestyle.. Although I miss smoking weed I am to old to be going to jail..The computer is my only means of outside interaction..
  8. lifelover

    lifelover Well-Known Member

    Sorrow, a gate of isolation. For me. Unknown to me, my life was about to change forever as i would come to know what failure is: something that pierced my heart. Plus, i get annoyed from the happy people on the outside.
  9. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Reading this thread is like looking in a mirror.

    That scares and saddens me.
  10. gakky1

    gakky1 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, scares me too, lot of us like this, I do the same and don't know why. Quit my job 6 weeks ago, never told anyone except my supervisor I was, been getting a lot of e-mails from my ex co-workers, haven't answered or even opened one of them. Someone from work, I think, came over last night, had all the lights off and was too scared/ashamed to even see who it was. Wish I had an answer kyle88 but I'm going thru the same problem too, not sure why or how to stop it,:unsure: also unsure if I want to stop it, will make it easier when I'm no longer around.:mad:
  11. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    i dont think theres something wrong with you at all! everybody needs alone time; some more then others. what you need are friends that are gonna respect that and arent offended when you want some 'you' time. cya
  12. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    I've been doing this for quite a while. Its a vicious cycle. I have isolated myself mostly because of my addiction to the videogames, computer, TV, just staying inside. Because of all the years of doing this, I have become behind in many skills, including social skills. This then leads me to be different from everyone else, a "freak". So I want to isolate myself inside even more and it becomes harder and harder to break out. I don't even know if I want to anymore.

    I've already lost touch with many friends and family from years ago, they may not even know I exist anymore and this may continue to happen as I drift further and further apart from all these people I know from before.
  13. sinnssykdom

    sinnssykdom Banned Member

    Hey Kyle, come on msn.
  14. stoneferret

    stoneferret New Member

    I too isolate myself although its not always a choice. Okay it is but its because all the people in my life hurt me by their actions and treatment of me. I try to be a good friend then always end up being taken advantage of and when I'm no longer needed I feel I get tossed aside like a dirty rag or something. I must be a terrible person. Sometimes I go for days without any interaction with anyone. As a result I just want to die.
  15. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    The longer you keep to yourself, less social you become. at least thats how i felt. You should keep a facebook account and do a little socialing on the side as to not isolate yourself completely. If your friends ask you out again, force yourself to say yes, do it even though you don't want to.

  16. Aether

    Aether Well-Known Member

    That`s a problem for me too; isolation. I know I`m doing it with my own hand, but it doesn`t make me feel better. I ignore phone calls and texts, refuse to hang out with friends, and then I feel rejected and lonely. I guess it`s the fact that it would be hard to see other people being happy and laughing and having a good time when I barely get up from bed every morning and get through the day, it`d be like I don`t fit in. I guess. Dunno.. Also I have no idea on why or how to stop it. Sometimes I don`t think I even want to stop it. I get to a point where I can`t help it but find happiness almost stupid, like a wall that the mind puts in fron of the eyes so they can`t see the real life as it is.
  17. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    I've been doing this for most of my adult life. It has really limited me, but I dislike too much social interaction and get uncomfortable in large group gatherings. Depressive tendencies and anxiety issues is my basic reason. I just force myself to interact at this point because as you said being alone doesn't really help even if I feel safer. Honestly, with my issues I am not trying to get into a relationship or have a big group of friends. All I really want is just one great friend (besides my brother-who has his own life), but he or she isn't gonna come to me, I have to go out and find that person.

    Also wannaSmile makes a great point that rings true for me. I feel like I have to be a different, happy and excited person when I am out with friends. Most people don't get together and talk about how unhappy they are, but hey that's me. It takes a lot of energy to do the happy act ( and I did it for years) because that is just not the natural me. I wish it was but it isn't.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2013
  18. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    Hello Kyle,
    I myself have isolated myself through all these years, and I never knew why. I'm usually alone and isolate myself in my room, browse on the net, but whenever people wanted to hang out with me it's like I froze up and didn't know if I even wanted to go or not. Than I be asking myself why I was reacting the way I did, cause I always wallow in myself and pity myself. I don't expect anyone else to pity me but I always doing the same thing to myself. Torturing myself, hiding myself, shutting myself off from the world. Sometimes I wish I would be happy whenever I went out, but I always feel so sad inside and not many people never knew how I felt or could never relate to me. This is a good thread, thanks for posting this. As you see you're clearly not alone and many others suffer. It really is a shame though, if you ever need to talk or anything feel free to pm me. =)
  19. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I can appreciate the actual act of purposeful isolation, I physically do so myself. I'm not so sure that I would necessarily be inclined to say I'm lonely - because its my choice to make.

    However, with your situation, there are some wanting to make contact with you, and as it was nice to have that communication, surely that could be utilised as a starting point to help you out of self-isolation? It takes work, and moving out of the comfort zone, but the rewards can be having friendships that last longer because of the dual involvement.

    Any anxiety based issues? Query with GP if possible.
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