well i had a good friend and i made her go away. i said nasty things to her. I'm cutting myself everyday, and my drinking and smoking are getting out of control. why can't i get over this girl. If i could talk to her just one more time i would be a happy man. talking about her just makes it worse. i want her back so i can stop this madness. i have apologized to her many times but she won't respond. its been 7 weeks since we talked. 7 weeks of hell. i can't believe I'm still alive.If i keep up this lifestyle it wont be long before my body just gives out. I'm sick of feeling guilty for making her go away. I love her to death. would die for her. its funny that I'm killing myself over her.