From the stories my mother tells me I was a relatively happy baby. She says I always smiled at everyone. I don't remember much of my early childhood but I do remember grade school,middle school,high school and what little of college I did have. In grade school I was kinda popular until I became chubby.I tried out for cheer leading(even though we had no teams) and did not make it even though I showed I was willing to put in the work and learn. Instead of choosing me they chose some other girls who only came to one practice out of many we had. I guess this would count as my earliest failure. Middle school I was chubby,had terrible acne and I had to start wearing glasses. So you can only imagine how I felt like life was screwing me over again. I could see the social classes forming and sadly I did not fall in with the shiny happy people. In high school things got a little better I lost weight and got contact lenses. Then just when my skin finally cleared up I developed a Lupus rash across my face. In addition to the rash my ankles and feet swelled up making me look like the marshmallow man from Ghostbuster's. I asked myself then if life were only picking on me because nothing bad had ever happened to my two siblings.Instead of dwelling on it too much I pushed those thoughts aside and kept living.Now I am 24 and life has gradually gotten worse for me. I am on dialysis 3 days a week because my lupus killed my kidneys. Every romantic relationship I have ever been in has failed. I am in a relationship with the same person who keeps cheating on me and abusing me emotionally. And at this point I am ready to throw in the towel because if history proves to be true then my life is on a constant downhill slope. My mother wants me to believe that there are people out there who have it worse than me and I believe this is true but why do I have to keep putting up with it? It makes me sad that I feel this way especially since my mom gave a graduation speech about me being the strongest person she knows. She has no idea how weak I really am and it hurts being strong for so long and having it all be a lie.