Why am I not surprised....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 1izombie, Aug 17, 2009.

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  1. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    The circle of insanity continues....I tell my docs my problems but it seems all they do is ignore me or give me more pills, I tried to tell them everything I'm going thru but it always seems like I get intimidated by them and I dont say all what I wanna say cause I kinda know it wouldnt matter anyways, they really dont care what happens to me, and if they dont care why the fuck should I care....I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of life, I have no hope, all I have is a plan and a date....
     
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    heya steve have u tried taking some1 with u 2 ur sessions? u might not feel so intimidated if u have a friend or family member there with u..
    take care :hug: x
     
  3. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    theres an idea.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey i found the professionals listen better when a family member is there to support what you are saying. They tend to not shove you off so quickly. Make sure you write everything down that needs to be brought up and dealt with Having an advocate or a person who will help you get the help you need somehow makes professionals care a little more It works really because now they know they are being held responsible for proper care as you have a witness to what has been said and what needs to be done.
     
  5. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    I can relate to what your saying, I was very intimidated by my old psychiatrist and eventually ended up not telling him anything cuz he wasn't listening.

    I agree bringing someone with you could help. They could even do some of the talking if they are aware what you're going through. A couple people have helped me out in this way.

    There's also the possibility of working with a different professional. I've worked with a few different people, some who gave me no solutions (or ones I didn't want, like more of the pills that were causing me discomfort), and some who were very empathetic people who listened to everything I had to say. There might be better health professionals out their who you could communicate with much better and get the answers you're looking for.
     
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I think one of the other reasons we feel intimidated is because there really isnt the opportunity to be completely honest because of the reprecutions of saying out loud that you are feeling or are going to commit suicide. A lot of people have the need to tell someone that they are planning it. But it doesnt mean that they want to be locked away. And you cant explain that to a therapist or pdoc. I know when I see my pdoc before my attempts on some deep level I guess I'm hoping they have a better answer than the one I have arrived at. But I down play my feelings so they dont understand. I dont know how you fix that or work around it. But the only way to get the most help you can is to be completely up front and honest.
     
  7. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    I'm done with my docs fuck them....its just no use I simply just cant get better, I've tried and failed miserably....I cant live with this pain so I'm ending it...thx for ur suggestions but im a waste of ur time, I've made up my mind and I'm going to follow thru with it

    cheers all and thx
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorrry you are giving these people the power This doctor is not worth harming yourself over let alone kill your self over You are giving themthe power to run your life. Time to say ya okay hell with it and move on to someone who gives a dam. You have to fight to get what you need i Know all the fighting i had to do all t he callls all the sarcastic two faced comments but i didn't listen to them i didn't care because i wasn't go to let them win
    It took me 2yrs to get help for my twin and now my daughter not easy no help Keep trying but please get someone to go with you to help you as the battle is so much easier when you have someone helping please there is the right help out there dont' give up DO NOT let them have any power okay because we all know you are worth fighting for.
     
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope I'm not too late and that you're still around. Please don't do it. you're not a waste of anyone's time.
     
  10. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    Yeah I'm still around, I dont plan on doing anything for a while, but soon ...like a couple of weeks and im done sorry but its better this way
     
  11. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sorry to disagree Steve. Not a waste of my time. I'm just hanging around here biding mine. So figure why not offer what I can while I can. Same boat with the docs, therapists, mental health workers and mobile crisis teams. The more they give and the more I try the more it seems to slip away.
    And wrong again. You have more than a plan and a date. You have real people here, as real as your docs and therapists. But the difference is these people understand and know the pain and thoughts and urges. And because of that they do care about what happens to other members here. Sorry to burst your bubble but that means you!!!
    I know you're tired and want to give in to the darkness. But please atleast until your date can you listen to some of the members here. Maybe even one post by another member may help you find the slightest of hope. Maybe even help you to put off that date for now atleast. Instead of trying so hard, take a break, lean on us here and let us help you fight.
    If you look really deep inside, I think you'll find, like me, the teeniest glimmer of hope. It's there in the form of you being here. Grasping and desperately searching for one other option. Praying that someone here may have one other answer that you couldnt find on your own. You have a date already so what can you lose? Please be safe Steve!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 18, 2009
  12. Silvio

    Silvio Well-Known Member

    Yea, I know this feeling, I feel inadequate around a professional, because it feels like you don't know what to say or you feel restricted from telling everything. Being a good communicator takes time, I was intimidated at first, but then I built up the courage to open up more to my consellors and psyches. Hang in there.
    Besides, even if your doctors are ignoring you, you've still got us, people who are going through what you are going through or have experienced this.
     
  13. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    I have no fight left in me......I have tried to lean on people here...it helps but its only temporary...I am a lost cause....the pain of living is to much...this fucking time is it for me...i cant go on anymore...thanks for all ur help but im done.....
     
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I can only hope you find the strength and courage to call crisis at this time
    I hope you get soomeone who cares and listens and gives youthe help you deserve. Take care okay stay safe. so tired of the fight understand this one but fight is the only way.
     
  15. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i think you simply refuse to give yourself a fighting chance.
    i guess its easier to just sit and wallow. sometimes we need to take that first step. we have to crawl before we can walk.
     
  16. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    I'm kinda backed into a corner right now and there is only one way out and I have to take it, cause it wont make sense if I dont... All I got to do now is follow thru....
     
  17. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    and what would you be following through on
     
  18. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    My golf swing.... :laugh: ...hmm i think u can figure that one out....
     
  19. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    so whens the big day
     
  20. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    August 31st.... or sooner depends how quick I get lose ends tied up..
     
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