Why am I so fearful?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by topper, Dec 23, 2010.

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  1. topper

    topper Well-Known Member

    I am so scared of change. So scared of trying something else. Scared of the future. Even though I feel like finding a new career is a big key to overcoming my suicidal ideation, but I'm scared to try anything, besides sending out a few resumes via Craigslist. I'm scared of the job market, and middle and poorer classes fate which has been deteriorating in the US for decades. I entertain thoughts of going back to school, but I'm scared I won't be able to keep up work and school. Scared of debt, which currently holds me down. I don't want anymore debt! I'm scared of therapy b/c I don't want to spend the money.

    Change--or even the possibility/potential for change--of some sort is most always what triggers my depression back into full force.

    Considering that life is constantly changing it's no wonder my depression continues reoccurring.
  2. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Change IS scary - we have to move out of our comfort zones and act differently. If we have had bad experiences of change then we will fear it more than if early experiences of change were positive.
    Guess that doesn't help? Just to say you aren't alone.
    Is there no way anyone in the US can get therapy without paying for it - it's not right!
  3. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    Hey, glad you are looking for help :hug: Change can be a really difficult thing and also a very hard and miserable one. Your not alone!

    I'm surprised you have to pay for therapy in the US unlike the UK but the US is a rick country :)

    Even if you feel you can't go on please do hold on! We are all hear for you! :hug:

    Change is what makes life us without change we would be nothing :hug: x
  4. topper

    topper Well-Known Member

    I've heard of sliding scales, paying what you can afford. But you can also be denied insurance in this country, or work opportunities for having sought mental healthcare. Just another thing that deters me. So I now try to ride out my depressive episodes in hopes of new life, adjusted perspective, etc.

    The realities of this country piss me off so much the more aware I become of how things work. I would give anything to have family in any other industrialized nation. I know life is not perfect elsewhere, but I'd at least feel as if my own healthcare wasn't so fragile.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Sometimes change is necessary, even though it might seem scary. If things aren't going the way that you would like, then change is necessary. I know that things are tough in the USA, especially not having access to free healthcare. Do you have any relatives up here in Canada?
  6. topper

    topper Well-Known Member

    Sadly, no. I don't have any family or friends outside my home state.
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