I am so scared of change. So scared of trying something else. Scared of the future. Even though I feel like finding a new career is a big key to overcoming my suicidal ideation, but I'm scared to try anything, besides sending out a few resumes via Craigslist. I'm scared of the job market, and middle and poorer classes fate which has been deteriorating in the US for decades. I entertain thoughts of going back to school, but I'm scared I won't be able to keep up work and school. Scared of debt, which currently holds me down. I don't want anymore debt! I'm scared of therapy b/c I don't want to spend the money. Change--or even the possibility/potential for change--of some sort is most always what triggers my depression back into full force. Considering that life is constantly changing it's no wonder my depression continues reoccurring.