why am i so miserable?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by overwhleming, Dec 4, 2006.

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  1. overwhleming

    overwhleming Active Member

    I think the hardest thing in life is not to be sorry for yourself. I look at my life and all i can say its pathetic. But i am not gonna cry. i think its because i hate myself. REALLy hate myself. Sometimes I want throw myself into a fire pit. When you are alone you really got no one else to blame but yourself. Everything fucked up its because of me, no matter who was evolved I had my fault. I cant just ignore this and say i will change when I know im bitter all over it still. I'd rather be a dead person than stay this bitter guy all my life, so I guess I will soon be saying goodbye to this son-of-a-bitch world, and I get to finish myself too, so not bad 2 birds with one stone that i want to smash over and over. Damn if my life is supposed to be this bad, I fukin hope i didnt ever get this shit of a honor coming in this waste of time world. Because apparently it was a joke meant for me personally. Some night when i will be sittingl alone sitting somewhere, I could be thinking this all over with a level head, maybe a tear will fall hell i hope it wont. I wonder why peace is so hard to come by. I just cant fake like im actually living with a smile in my heart, its all i ever wanted to do and all i never have been doing. I get all jealous and i just want everything to end, including this fukin jealousy. Because it all came to question why do i endure?
  2. twilight

    twilight Well-Known Member

    It's not your fault. This is a common misconception that I have often believed myself. No one chooses to be depressed or have suicidal thoughts. Being alone is very difficult I know. That is not your fault either. Sometimes it is hard to connect with people when you are feeling so bad. I can relate to pretty much everything in your post. You endure because you are strong. It takes strength to live with suicidal thoughts and continue living regardless. Things can improve. I know it might not seem that way but it's possible I know.

    Please take care of yourself.

    We're here for you.
  3. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    overwhelming twilight is exactly right just to re-assure you that you didn't ask to feel like this and who would?Noone of course as it's the worst feeling one can have.If you could just snap out of it like that i'm sure you would and you're doing your best to overcome these helpless feeling's.Only those who have suffered and have experienced such despair can relate to you or who understand your pain.
    Next of all the way you're feeling is very common as I've had that so many times why did I have to be born?etc we're saying this because of the hell we're in otherwise we'd be out there having a ball.I also think that we don't like feeling sorry for ourselves but because of the wretched cruel pain of depression we tend to have those type's of feeling's.
    You have every right to whine and feel hard done by as you don't deserve to be going through what you're,yes it's such a cruel world we can only do what we can to help each other.
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