why am i still here

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by SirFrancisDrake, Jun 17, 2009.

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  1. SirFrancisDrake

    SirFrancisDrake New Member

    Why is everything so difficoult?
    This is not a peaceful place, not for me.
    I see the dark size of the moon in the sky, and i don't understand....
    why are people so blind?
    life is infinitely useless
    i'm alone in the world. i have friends, sure. but they're not really friends. they don't know me. i don't talk with them abute my problems. I smile, i wear a mask. i'm like a wax statue.
    I'm so sad,i feel so lonely. There is not a future.
    All my world is going down.
    I Don't want to die, but sometimes i think that the death is the only way out

  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hi, First I want to say that I am in a very bad place right now and don't know that what I say is going to help in any way but I really wanted you to know someone cares and hears your pain.
    It thoroughly disgusts me that you had the courage to join this site and try to find help, posted in the Crisis Forum and nobody had the friggin human decency to reply to you. There are many here that have been helped by this forum but somehow it appears they feel no desire to give back I guess, maybe I am wrong. Like I said I am on the edge myself and don't have much to give right now but as a person who often feels ignored when in pain it was important to me to let you know that you were noticed and your pain acknowledged.
    I hope perhaps someone PM'd you rather than posting a reply and that you were comforted if only a little and that my disgust and anger at your unanswered post is misplaced.
    You matter to me if that means anything at all...I hope your okay I really do.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 20, 2009
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome to the forum.

    Have you sought any professional help? Medication/therapy?

    I hope you're still with us, keep talking..it will help :) :hug:
  4. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Maybe this is a better place for you to discuss your issues. Friends may be turned off by depressing thoughts; mine were. Here, you can discuss whatever is on your mind and get some feedback.
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi Drake,
    I am very new here. I did not read your post until now. I understand about the mask. I did not wear one. A teacher recently told me no one wants to be around me. Someone else seconded that motion. The only use I am to people is when i am helping them. So I do understand the mask. But I am sure this is a place where people do not have to wear the mask. I am sure that people will accept you for the true and real place you are in now. I can feel it. I click on peoples bio. Read what they wrote and decide if they feel safe for me at this time of crisis.

    Now, I have to build that trust here. I am deathly afraid that people here will reject me. But maybe if I stick around, in time I will be able to really tell me story and not have people not want to be around me the way I am. And maybe you can stick around and do the same. I hope so.

    I hope you will continue to come back here. Funny I am saying that since I am so new. But still its true what I am saying. And I mean it from my heart.

    I hope you can hold on and keep coming here.
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Sir Francis,
    I realized over the hours, since I wrote to you, that I indeed put on quite a mask for the people i help. Your post helped me to see this. Thank you for that. You wrote "why are people so blind" Sir Francis, I do hope someday for the Amazing grace........ "was blind but now I see". those words are from the song, Amazing Grace about darkness to light. I dont think you are alone when you are here. I just joined. But this is what I have noticed. People care. And they dont need for you to hide who you are or where youre at.
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums. Dont give up just yet. You've only just started out on Sf. Give us some time, open up to us and tell us what's causing you such distress and maybe we can help you deal with the problems you are experiencing and convince you that suicide is not the answer.
  8. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    It is me again. I reread my first reply to you and I let my personal frustration at the thought of your unanswered post and your leaving this site in more pain than when you came get the best of me. I hope you return and see that there are good people here-great people in fact. I would love,and I know others would to, for you to share more of your circumstances so we may all give you support. You alone have to do it but you don't have to do it alone. I hope you come back and let us know how your feeling.
  9. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Hi there. So sorry you're feeling that way. If it helps at all, my inbox is always open.
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