Why am i still here?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx, May 31, 2010.

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  1. xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx

    xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx Well-Known Member

    i tried Saturday night :cry:

    i really tried but got talked out of it :cry:

    why couldn't i just die??
    get rid of all this pain... all this suffering... all this hate

    i hate the memories i cant get rid of, that haunt me every minute of the day.
    they surround my every thought, my every movement, my every word.

    i cant get away from them... i just want to get away from it all :cry:
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Kay sweetheart i love you. Its gonna be ok. just hang on to us...lean on us.
    *reaches out hand* :wub:
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey I am glad your still with us...every thing a happens for a reason and I have had a few of my plans thwarted too and believe it is a sign we are supposed to still be here....at least that is how I take it.
    If you are dealing with such strong emotions and so often you probably need professional help. This place is great but it is not a substitute for proper mental health care in ones life...besides you deserve to have relief from your depression. You also mentioned being hauted by memories of something that has happened to you and that for sure needs the help of a mental health care profession to process and deal with.
    Are you seeing anyone? Are you willing to see someone to help you work through all this..it really helps gives you coping skills to live through all this...you want to be happy again right? I am sorry you are so plagued with this sadness and memories so please do get yourself some professional help we are here to support you but if you are in this much pain you really need someone in real life helping you I believe.
    Take care and we are here for you.
  4. xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx

    xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx Well-Known Member

    i've seem so many counsellors and psychiatrist I've lost count.
    i don't see the point in seeing another one.

    i've just lost all hope in life, its not going to get better so why bother?
  5. i-am-from-the-moon

    i-am-from-the-moon Well-Known Member

    kay you know im always here for you i aint ever gna give up on you
  6. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    Kay, don't give up sweety. You are an awesome person, I hate to see you in so much pain :hug: Maybe you haven't found the right councellor or psychiatrist yet, sometimes it takes time, and you are definately worth the time it may take. We will stay with you through it because we love you.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    often times i feel that way but then i see others who have healed with the right therapist. It took awhile for them almost 4 years but they are at peace now and able to move forward. I hope you hang on okay the pain does lessen the thoughts triggers are not as often it just takes time to heal and if you can just hold on and know there is healing that you will be okay
    Keep letting the pain out here okay release it here so it is not all inside you
    I know it is terrible hard some days but you are strong you can hold on knowing that yes someday you will have control back again.
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