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Why am I still single?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by closertolove, Nov 15, 2009.

  1. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    I don't know why I'm still single

    I don't want to sound annoying and bratty, I know this could come across like that. I just keep wondering to myself as another girl I know finds the PERFECT guy, why is it that none of these seemingly perfect guys notice me? Am I that standoffish that no one even wants to try to get to know me?

    I haven't had the best luck with guys, I'll be the first to admit. I've been burnt before, but I can't keep letting it ruin my chance at a potential future where I could trust someone and be happy

    "I'm not the one who broke you, I'm not the one you should fear"

    I really want to not be afraid of you, but it seems like no matter how hard I try on my end, there's no incentive/response from the other end. No matter how much I try to open myself up to a guy, it never seems worth it

    To hell with that; it's my senior year, I shouldn't be trying to find a boyfriend or long term relationship if we're just gonna go our separate ways come june. I just want some help realizing why the hell am I still alone and with no guys asking me to be with them...
  2. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    Because you looking for perfect guy and there is no perfect people.
  3. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    To me, a perfect guy is one who simply cares, and stays when things get tough and I go a little crazy. I thought those existed...
  4. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    I have not seen those.
  5. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    I ask myself this question everyday only about women. Been single 23 years of my life, and I torture myself over it. I always thought if I had someone I would be motivated to get over my suicidal/depressed ways. Noone wants me though. I am one of those guys that you described but the only women I seem to find are the one-night stand type. And it's not because I want them to be that, they just seem to forget about me or give me that fuck off attitude... That is the worst feeling in the world when you like someone enough to try and move things further and they pretend like they don't even know you.
  6. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    half the time i dont realize i give off a fuck off attitude when i do

    it's reflexive. it just happens

    i wish it wouldn't though
  7. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Doesnt that answer your 'why am i still single?' question??? Just be actively aware that this is the impression you give off. And dont give up, the guy you described does exsist cause I got one so just keep looking :)
  8. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    ive been working on it, though. just this past summer i realized what i was doing. ive been better with it, but im not seeing any results. i guess its just like i SHOULD be seeing some results by now, i thought

    its unreasonable though. at an all girls school, its not like i have many guys to have a chance with. i just thought that i'd have something to show for my efforts by now
  9. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Nah!!! That aint how love or romance works haha. When you least expect it - thats when you will find it. Stop looking so hard and let it happen but keep trying to talk to guys and that might help you be cool and calm when the right one comes along.

    p.s. - i think your avator is FUNNY! :D
  10. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member


    i guess i want something to look back on and be like, wow... i was so young and naive in love but didnt care
  11. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    This :thumbup:

    Don't worry so much about it Kath, if it happens it happens. Since you have already identified something that you believe may be keeping others away, this is a good chance to keeping working on bettering yourself :)
  12. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    thanks mike

    i wish i could be this raw IRL
  13. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    I guess you could hold out for you "perfect" man, if one ever exists. Me, I stopped trying a long time ago. I was never noticed and I accept that because I can now keep a low profile and not get involved with any stupid drama. I don't have to bootlick to gain favoritism around women, which I always hated. I think most girls put themselves too high on a pedestal and make it too hard for meek guys to approach them. Then they complain when they get the type of guys who would play them. But you seem like a cool girl so I'll share a secret with you. The type of girls guys really like and really want to be around are the types who aren't fake barbie dolls and are true. We don't want plastic figurines with fake body parts. We don't want stick figures either. We just want to be around women who can be naturally beautiful with themselves and are are approachable, that last part is important.
  14. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Well what is stopping you then? ;)
  15. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Pioneer is right. Also, the so-called perfect man is one that is perfect for you, not one that is perfect per se. There are guys out there that stick around when the going gets tough, I can say without any cockiness that I am one of them. This of course doesn't make me the perfect guy, it just means that I realize that leaving when it gets tough would make me an asshole. I've noticed that you are answering your own question as you describe your attitude, and you are starting to see what you're doing wrong. I can tell you right now, the main reason you aren't finding anyone is because you are putting too much thought into it. Every time I've tried to get a girlfriend I've failed, it's only when I don't put any thought into it that my true self shows and I get a girl. It does not last, but it still happens. If you want the perfect man, you will be let down time and time again. Lower your standards, and don't frustrate yourself that you are single. Men, like women, can see desperation a mile away and it is unattractive.
  16. Brianw

    Brianw Well-Known Member

    i kno how you feel being single im just trying to find someone who will like me for the crazy ole me
  17. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Sometime I wonder why I am still single, but then I ask 'why shouldn't I be single?' I haven't come up with an answer.
  18. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    haha i guess going to an all girls school for nearly 13 years makes me used to the desperation of "trying to get a guy"

    i think too much about what i shouldn't show guys when i first meet them, or when we're becoming friends or flirtatious or whatever. i have certain neuroses that i just don't want to reveal for fear they will scare them off, so that kinda trips me up sometimes

    idk i guess i want someone to prove to me i sometimes don't have to try to find someone, and that someone one day will be doing all of this crazy thinking for ME rather than i for them
  19. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    You went to an all girls' school for a while so don't let it bug you too much. If you keep working at it the way you are now I'm sure it'll happen sooner or later. There are hot girls out there by the handful but nothing kicks more ass than one that's actually interesting.
  20. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    *fingers crossed*