Why am I Told It Is Something Else?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Forgotten_Man, Dec 19, 2013.

  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Why does everyone insist that sexual activity will not cure what ails my soul? Seriously, when I tell people the only reason I am depressed is because I am sexually unappealing and females would rather let the human race die off than mate with me. I am told something along the lines that "sex isn't everything" or "there is more to life than sex" or "You need to cure the root cause of your depression". I mean what the @#$%, I have undeniable proof that the root cause is my inability to attract a mate. Was not suicidal for the period in time when a female was willing to have anything as long as it meant not appearing single. I mean if lack of sexual activity is not the root cause of my depression than why did I not get depressed during that period in time?

    Then when no answer comes, I am told to go off and do new things with my life. I always get a good laugh because I know that 90% of the people who tell me that sit at home and do nothing but have sex with their mate. While I go out and learn languages, skills, go to conventions, get in shape, go rare game hunting. I am well aware that there is more to life than sex. Why is it so hard to believe that I do plenty with my life and the only thing missing is sex? Just because there is more to life does not mean it is not a part of life.

    I do not know, I just wish I could understand why it is that when I identify something in my life that, comes with real proof, as a cause for my suicidal feelings. Since it is sexual activity people just brush it off like I am some kind of creep? Even worse are the people who I know have never struggled in that aspect of life. Sure enough they have sex on a daily basis. Then they tell me that I am not treating the root cause.
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Do you desire a companion as well? Or simply the physical intimacy? Perhaps it's difficult to know until you're in that situation. In other words, once that need is satisfied, would you also enjoy having somebody to be in a relationship with you...I don't know if that's part of what's lacking or not, it just sounds like it might be something that's helpful for you. But what do I know!
  3. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    I do not believe that everyone thinks that its necessarily something else.... but I do know that you are closed off to hearing most things. I tried to answer you in another post directing you to read a diff post that dealt with this kind of thing, and before you even read it, you decided it would just be full of hateful/inflammatory comments that would be of no help to you. Those responses truly weren't like that at all.

    I know there are things I appear to be stubborn on as well about how to fix them and etc, so I will not say I am any better than you or vice versa. All I am saying is that... sometimes, you need to at least listen to/hear the entirety of what people are saying in order to understand the whole of it. Sometimes if you pick something apart, you can twist it into something else entirely from what its true purpose is/was (if you don't believe me on that, you can attend different church congregations and I can almost guarantee you with 100% certainty that when they preach on the same portions of the bible they will come up with completely different messages with different portions of the bible to back it up -- not saying none of them are right, or any/all of them are wrong, just that unless you take a work in its entirety, you can come up with many different opinions and rarely will they be anything close to what the work in its entirety are about).

    Now, I am going to take you at face value.. you say that your lack of sex life is your whole problem and reason for your depression...

    ok, fine... why not go get a hooker then? just be sure to use protection so you do not get any sexually transmitted diseases... check back in once a week or so to keep the depression away

    now, i may sound as if that's a cheap or uncaring answer... maybe it is, maybe not, i don't know... but i do know if lack of sex is truly your only problem its a viable solution

    if you say "no, that won't work" ... then its because IT IS something besides lack of sex in your life that has you down.... i will be looking forward to seeing your response.

    (oh and btw, the responses in the post that i was trying to get you to read dealt with how to get women to find you more intriguing.... not so cut and dry like my response, so don't go sounding off on that again.... if you want to blast me for telling you to get a hooker, fine, do so... but make sure you keep that finger pointed at me)
  4. ronnymarie

    ronnymarie Guest

    I guess I am curious here as well. Are you looking for a lasting relationship? I'm not talking marriage, but a long term relationship that includes spending time together, being friends, supporting one another, listening to each other, etc? I can understand why this would be important to you. Most people do long to form connections with others where we will be able to share ourselves, and have support.

    Or are you just looking for sex? If so, follow Dawn's advice, and pay for the services of a professional. And if you are looking for more, than bringing up sex as the first criteria is a mistake. No woman wants to feel that she is just there as a thing to be used for physical pleasure. Women are people, and no one wants to be viewed as something less, especially because of gender.