why am so weird?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by painful, Jan 17, 2011.

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  1. painful

    painful Well-Known Member

    i dont understand why i hate leaving my room. when i do leave i start to feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me. i start to sweat and panic. i feel really weird. does anyone experience this as well?
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you could be suffering from some form of social anxiety/agoraphobia.

    Many people on SF have the exact same problem as you. Even to the point that we don't leave our rooms/private properties(I only leave my house for school...and that's only because I have too :mellow:).

    I believe there are treatments such as medication and therapy available, although I haven't tried either.

    If you can, try and get help. Because social isolation/anxiety can open up doors to all kinds of bad thinking.

  3. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    You may have an anxiety disorder like OCD or agoraphobia. This sounds very severe so you should try to see a mental health professional.

    Do you feel you are being mistreated by your family or by schoolmates? Humiliation and ridicule will damage a person's self image and leave them terribly anxious and self conscious in public.
  4. painful

    painful Well-Known Member

    i dont know i wasnt really picked on in school. its a problem cuz ill avoid leaving my room for this reason.
  5. painful

    painful Well-Known Member

    i dont know i wasnt really picked on in school. its a problem cuz ill avoid leaving my room for this reason.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Yes you aren't alone..I have been locked away in my room for the last sixteen years.. The only time I come out is for appts.. or necessities..I stay in my room 24/7..I have books, video games, TV, and my computer.. Thats all I need.. I was in therapy for five years and it helped some of my problems.,. But it didn't help my paranoia, socialphobia, and agoraphobia..I don't miss the outside world..I spent my first fourteen years lieing in bed wishing I would just die..
  7. Winslow

    Winslow Antiquitie's Friend SF Supporter

    In my case, I am the Opposite of you folks. In other words, I want to get Outdoors as much as possible. Even when I play the dice-game, Backgammon, with somebody, I much prefer to play it at a public park. It's not that I have any phobia for in-doors at all. It's not claustrophobia at all, but rather it's that if I stay in-doors cooped-up for too long, it worsens my depression.

    The problem is that I can not find friends who share the same hobbies that I do. Presently, I only meet a friend just once a week. Whereas in the past,I used to have friends with whom I used to meet six days a week! That's when I used to feel my happiest.

    Once I find friends with whom I can socialize on a more frequent basis, then I will quit the internet. The only reason I use the internet is to find those people. Once I reach my goal, then I quit the internet.
  8. gakky1

    gakky1 Well-Known Member

    I can relate to you so well and also a few others it appears, locked in my apartment probably 23.5/7, just trips to the store to get essentials is the only reason I leave. Sounds like Stranger1 and I would get along well,:cool: I too have so many things to do that I'll always have something to do, perhaps that's our problem, we've created such a nice comfy world for ourselves. Therapy helped a bit on this at first but after a while I was worse off though, I had at least worked then shut myself away, now I've quit working and am totally isolated from the real world. Don't miss it either but realize something will have to change, whether it's for the better is looking doubtful.:mhmm:
  9. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Lol, never seen that used before :tongue:.

    I have a weird back up plan 'if all else fails'. I buy a large rural chunk of land, and make it my place. Basically becoming a hermit. Make it my own world. Then I won't have to deal with people :).
  10. gakky1

    gakky1 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a cool plan being able to live off the land, think it would be so much easier when no people are close to you at all than being surrounded by others and still being alone. 23.5/7, there's a strip mall about 4 blocks from home where it's got a grocery store, dept. store, bank, etc, so it's easy to scoot over and back in less than 1/2 hour.:mhmm:
    The Japanese have a term for being a hermit or shut-in, it's called Hikikomori, here's an interesting article.
  11. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    Yep, you are not alone.
    I spent the last 2years not going out, I went out to get my weekly money and i got my essentials around the same time too. took about 40mins of my week outside, the rest of the time i would be in my room, on my bed, on my laptop.
    I'm slowly making my way back there, but I'm fighting it, trying to stay active, force myself out. But when your shit scared of going outside, and just everything outside, its hard to force yourself out.
    Its a form of anxiety. namely social anxiety, but it can be another form as well. There are medications for it, and therapy such a CBT. I would advise seeing your GP and getting an appointment with a psychologist.
  12. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    I'd say I've been locked in here for 6 years. I had a couple jobs between 2000 and 2003, but even then I was shutin a lot.

    I got teased a lot in school. I never was comfortable around people when I was growing up and still am not. Conversation is not natural and I am nervous also. I just can't seem to be relaxed like others and I don't seem to enjoy it as much. I get angry easy. I am not interested in having a family. I go out for essentials. Mostly I am fine with it. Girls make me more nervous than normal. Generally, I have no trouble doing basic social things. It's not like I am paranoid and can't step out of the room.

    I like philosophy, astronomy, science, existential questions, computer programming, technology and design, and so on.

    I wish there was a support group for people like me nearby where I don't feel like everyone hates me or despises me or something similar. Part of the problem I suppose is that no one else needs to hate me anyway. I hate myself plenty. Wish I could be born as someone else.

    One more thing... Everytime I get out into the world I mostly enjoy myself. I come home not because I want to but because I have to. I have no money. I haven't planned well in life. Even though I say I am not comfortable around people and like my privacy and so forth, I'm not honest if I say that I feel good in my room. I don't. I wish I had practical skills to live in the world. I wish I knew where to go and what to do. Life just seems so hostile and hard to understand.

    I will say one thing: It's not natural to live in a room and one cannot be happy living in a room. We did not evolve to live this way, I don't care who you're, and if you feel bad like this don't be surprised. Clearly, you have much bigger problems you're ignoring or running from.

    I had a dream last night where nothing in the dream made sense and because I couldn't make sense of it everybody in the dream grew hostile towards me and dismissive and so on. I was in school in it. None of the tests or homework made any sense to me. None of hte classes made sense. I failed at everything in the dream. It felt like a witch hunt too. No matter what I did I couldn't protect myself or defend myself from them. They could have burnt me as a witch if they wanted and I was powerless. I felt betrayed and angry and misunderstood. Real life isn't nearly that bad, but to some amount it's similar. I think I don't understand the social side of things in people very well. I just can't seem to read it well. Just like in that dream where I couldn't make sense of things. So since I can't understand their social motivations and their moods, I give them the wrong message or impression and they maybe lose their trust in me or they avoid me or misunderstand me and then I feel imprisoned? I don't know what the dream meant, but I have a lot of dreams like that. It reminds me of an episode in grade school when I was getting teased. Everybody said I did something that I hadn't done. Everybody in the class was in on it. Well, only for a day. But I was one of those kids everyboyd teased. It was not fun. I wonder if these kinds of dreams where nobody understands me and i'm powerless to defend myself are just reflections of the bad times I had in childhood.

    I think sometimes I do feel misunderstood and sometimes I just don't understand others. I ask a lot of existential questions. Most of the people I know are religious. So I have no one to talk to that understands where I'm coming from. I don't believe in god. I lean towards liberal ideals, but I do not feel I'm right or left. Most of the peopel that have tried to help me are conservative or christian or something like that. So it seems like every hand that tries to help me drives me away. And I'm not good about caring about others emotions or being there for them to relieve their worries. I just can't seem to freely hug people or show affection. I'm too self-conscious for it and I don't want others to think I'm fake. Of course I love them but telling someone you love them all the time is just as fake as never telling them.

    Time. Time ticks away. In a flash I'll be in my 40's. Hope I'm not the same. Anyway, I'm done typing.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 20, 2011
  13. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    Thanks for that article about hikikomori. I think it applies.

    I think I can understand how the stress of growing up and the expectations to accomplish great things can cause a young person to move inward and protest because of fear and helplessness. Sometimes it does feel that society is a machine and we're its parts. If you feel that you don't measure up to what society is looking for then you use this as the basis to rebel or resist or protest. I mean, when things go well it's the basis to achieve, but when things go bad it's the reverse. When the economy is good people are ok with bankers but when it's bad the bankers are criticized, see? And how does a Hikkomon protest? By hiding in their room. It's the opposite of achievement. You resist to be a part in society. Furthermore, you learn to hate yourself so you hide in your room so others don't know.

    When Hikkomori sees a finish line, they run backwards. When they see a test, they flunk it. When they're asked which color is white, they point at black. When a girl asks them what their name is, they keep their mouth shut. When their friends ask them to come with them to a concert, they stay home. When they're given the opportunity to succeed, they give it to someone else. A Hikkomori fails by default out of misplaced fear and protest of expectations placed on them by a society they no longer trust or feel for.

    I mean, in society you either have lots of education and a great job which requires lots of time and money or you're working 7 days a week 10 hours/day in a factory. Well, that's how it's in the mind of Hikkomori. So they see no way out of their predicament.

    Remember in society we're just parts. They just see a machine and its parts. I think to save Hikkomori you have to convince them that this isn't all just a machine and its parts and that we can enjoy life outside of the room.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 20, 2011
  14. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    I experience it too (a lot less lately) i guess its just phobia/anxiety
    i think its regardless if u had trumatizeing social events linked to the anxiety causer.
    It can amplify ...if u loose contact with something or had a bad experience life wise like desease (mental too) money issues or whatever you wanted to avoid but couldnt ,so it can be caused by totally different stressors.

    Like even if u stay in house cause of depression/ilness when you will come out after a long period of time u will feel anxiety
    Also it reduces if u keep going out no matter what.....
    Try to find excuses to go out even if just for buying cigs and dont feel like it, the next time u will go to meet someone it will be that bit easyer, and you will also get motivated to get out that much easyer.
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