why are guys shallow.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by lilella44, Sep 14, 2008.

  1. lilella44

    lilella44 Well-Known Member

    i feel so depressed, so numb, i badly need some advice or help. or just something to make me feel better.
    im 16 and it feels like every guy i've dated seriously or ever been interested in has only wanted me for sex or because my body turns them on.
    me and my bf of nearly 2 years were a bit drunk last night and all he wanted to do all night (we were at a party), was kiss or have sex with me.
    i feel so used coz every guy i date is like this.
    why are guys so shallow. i feel awful, so worthless.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are too young to be having sex, think of the consequences. (btw your profile says you are 15). I think you should steer clear of the guys that you feel only want you for pleasure and for their own satisfaction.It will lower your self esteem and cause you long term emotional problems. I am sure if you try you will eventually find a guy that will love you for who you are and not what you look like, I hope you begin to feel better soon :hug:
  3. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    I look around me and see everything you are talking about. Every time I look at myself I try to say to myself I'd never put a girl in that situation. I look at an attractive girl and a guy in the hall and I think to myself "Damn you have no idea what you are getting yourself into..." All guys are having hormonal changes in high school and most start growing a lot. With hormone changes comes urges and yes that includes sex. It really does take a lot of self control to resist the urges... a lot and it's a lot harder than you think.
  4. Arcturus

    Arcturus Active Member

    Not all guys lack self control. And this percentage of guys (the percentage that have self control) only goes up from where you are now. So keep searching, keep hoping, I'm sure you can find someone who loves you for who you are.

    (Note: When people get drunk, sexual urges are much harder to control. Don't necessarily conclude that your bf is only in the relationship for sex just because he was turned on and drunk one night. If you are really worried about it, have a talk with him about it (if you haven't already). Any guy worth your time will listen to your concerns, and try to address them. And again, if he's been dating you for 2 years, chances are good that he does care about you as a person too.)

    Hope this helps.
  5. Eric

    Eric Well-Known Member

    Arcturus hit the nail on the head.

    Adding to that, you should make it clear to your boyfriends that you don't want sex until "x" age or marriage. If they REALLY love you, they'll understand. If they ditch you for it, they're not worth your time.
  6. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Physical attractiveness is the first step to love. Sex, well, for men it's a need, there's no two ways about it. I can't go two days without masturbating, even in the middle of intense depression, and while on medication that kills my sex drive, and with the feeling that nobody loves me, and there's nothing to be done about that. At the same time, I wouldn't have sex with anyone I didn't really love.
  7. 0110110ry

    0110110ry Member

    Guys aren't shallow, remember that our hormones are different and makes things harder to stop. We can turn ourselves off instantly like you. And yeah, I'll admit, a LOT of guys are stupid and jump in to sex way to soon. You probably don't find a slow relationship until you are closer to the age of twenty when puberty wears off and the hormones simmer down.
  8. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    Just an aside.

    A guy doesnt go out with you for two damn years if all he wants is sex.
  9. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    its good that you dont let your self be used by men. i wish more females were like you and wanted meaningful relationships based on friendship and trust. im a guy who wants to find a mate for some thing deeper than just physical attraction and lust. find a guy that will just be your friend, then go to the next level if you're really having fun together. dont be upset with yer boyfriend, he is probably just having tough time with his hormones.
  10. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    I am a shallow worthless subhuman being like you said because am a guy and we are mindless barbaric sex-craze devils that should be tortured and shot in the face.

    I have never had a relationship or date or any experience with a female, and you know what i hope i never do because i know what you all think of me
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    It's no big secret that guys like sex. The key is not letting your yourself get carried away by your hormones.
  12. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    its a reason we are horny like this, in the end, we're all just animals..
  13. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    Animals don't do it for spiritual reasons, though.... so in the end, we are not just animals. Well, *some* humans aren't, anyway. :rolleyes: Some others border on being more than just animals, as well, though...
  14. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Actually, it's because we need a reason to have sex and procreate.
  15. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    Is it lonely up there on your pedestal.
  16. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member