Why are my mood swings so drastic?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by funnyfunny, Nov 17, 2013.

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  1. funnyfunny

    funnyfunny New Member

    Hi everyone,

    I have been married for about a year and a half. After each time I get into a disagreement with my wife, I fall into a deep funk...it used to last for days but now I feel better in about a day or two. During my funk, I have strong feelings of wanting to die, and suicidal thoughts. Last week I started cutting myself because I felt in such despair. Now I have a bunch of cuts on my arm and I have to wear long sleeves to hide them from everyone.

    I don't know why I feel so low from all of this. I mean, it's just a disagreement with my wife, right? I'm sure that there are a lot of people who are in, objectively, worse situations than I, but I doubt they all want to kill themselves. Does anyone know why I get so sad and upset over something so minor?

    My therapist thinks it's due to unresolved feelings from my childhood, and how my parents never made me feel important. Because actually the feelings of wanting to die started when I was very young, in junior high.

    By the way, divorce isn't an option - I would rather die than initiate divorce.

    I took a bipolar quiz online and I'm not bipolar. Just depressed. But I'm not always sad. When things are good, I'm not upset. I only get upset after fights.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you have a therapist who can help you through these emotions hun. Could be you feel so helpless when you argue i do hope perhaps in time you will find the root cause of the sadness so you do not self harm anymore hugs
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. glad you joined this community. I do understand what you are saying. I can relate. I call it a trigger. Something like an argument can trigger all this self hatred and self blame in me. Old stuff. And it can get pretty horrible for me. Sort of like this unhealed kid takes the drivers seat. A part of me that is in lots of self blame and self hatred and pain. Of course its still me. Just emotionally maybe the wounding of that age takes over so to speak. Not saying this is the same for you. But this is how it is for me.

    you say "its just a disagreement with my wife, right?" Maybe not. Maybe the disagreement triggered old feelings you have about yourself from when you were young. Then that sort of takes the drivers seat, so to speak, for a period of time. So thats pretty intense and painful. Those feelings.

    I too am glad you have a therapist with whom you can work. Working on this stuff in therapy is the only way I know of to heal. So you will not go into these places anymore. To heal that wounding when you were young. So, you ask why the mood swings are so drastic. With unresolved stuff we can sort of get triggered into feeling like that wounded kid way back then. Perhaps the memories of that kid are still there. Sometimes up front and center, as they say. might this be a good explanation?
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 18, 2013
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    funny, this has happened to a lot of couples. i don't think you will ever meet any one married person who doesn't go through these ups and downs. this is nothing to kill yourself over.
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