Why are there no words?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Domo, Sep 26, 2010.

  1. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I can't handle this fucking silence.

    They all become speechless around me. The silence the seed for paranoia so intense that it makes me want to die.

    And it goes around and around in my head.

    I jsut want to know what is inside of you.

    I just need something, just a word.

    I feel ill. I just want to go home and take every single pill i have. I want to stumble around in some kind of half life, screaming incoherent nothings. I want to smash glass and take it to my skin. I want blood, i want pain. I want the end.
  2. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    I'm a reasonably complex bundle of complexities. I'm me I am.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Who ever is hurting you i am sorry Domo just know yu still have friends okay so many here t hat care for you stay safe okay please
  4. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Punk i have no idea what you are talking about but your sig made me laugh, your avatar made me stare blankly at the screen for 30 seconds and your mood made me wish i was on pills. ALl and all i would say that's pretty successfull impression you've made. We should have high tea sometime. Cucumber sandwiches and all.

    Violet - I'll always stay safe, except for the times i don't!

    I need my meds, but you know i am pretty tempted to not take them anymore. Because really there isn't much point when i don't have her.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Well the times you don't call someone okay i care always
  6. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Violet :hug:

    I was just off my meds and going a little silly.

    I think what i was trying to say is, i wanted someone to talk to. When i reach out and don't get a reply, i get paranoid about why people are unable to speak to me.
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I can totally relate to what you just said...I'm paranoid when people aren't talking to me...and I have a tendency to expect people are lying...like they say something but mean something else...it really sucks and can drive me completely bunkers...
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

  9. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Yup exactly. My head creates all these horrible scenarios. And i have a major fear of abandonment so it usually revolves around that.

    I know sometimes my posts are a bit cryptic, but that's just my inability to express myself when i am under more stress then i can handle.

    And thank you IV, you are a sweetheart :hug:
  10. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    same here...I've always been neglected and abandoned, and well my family likes to say something and mean something else...so I guess that is rooted deep inside me...

    :hug: I'm sorry you go through that...I know how painful and crazy it can be...
  11. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Do you find it makes a difference knowing why you are this way?

    I've been told it doesn't really matter, that you just have to learn how to cope with the result and effects it has on your life. To move forward.

    For me, i don't know. I grew up with a nice family and all. I don't know what i am a result of and sometimes i find that very difficult. The age old question of...Why?

    I guess curiosity gets the best of me at times. I want answers where there really are none.

    I guess it's not a big deal, it's not impeding on my progress. Just a thought that continually comes back.
  12. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I guess it does help understanding but it doesn't help the healing process...at least not that I can't see...somedays I can work it out, I'm always trying hard to get better but sometimes it seems futile...like I'm made this way and there's never going to be a change so I got to accept it...

    I dunno...I just dunno
  13. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Yes, it can get the best of us some days.

    Yes, these things are a part of us, but we can work with them and try our hardest to make the most of what we have.

    The only sure fire way to ensure nothing changes, is if we do nothing!

  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I like what you said Domo you are very smart
    With growth in years it does get easier more stability
    i don' t know better coping skill maybe
    chemicals brain level out
    the pain is still there god yes but one learns to recognise it for what it is and then let go of more easier.
    I hope with time healing comes for all take care.