why are we here?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by asdf12345, Jan 27, 2009.

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  1. asdf12345

    asdf12345 Member

    I've been thinking, why am I on this earth for? Why am I the only one suffering when around me in real life there are plenty of people who have a reason to be alive, who want to be alive? People who wake up every day and smile, happy with their lives?

    I drag myself to school and back, I study my ass off but it's not working, my grades are still mediocre and I still get the same grades as people who hang out going clubbing every night. I try so hard but the people who don't even try seem to be even happier. I want to not care, but I can't. It's like a vicious cycle I can't get out of.

    I try to socialize but somehow I just can't fit in, I don't feel comfortable most of the time. But then when I think about it there's not many people I'd want to fit in irl with. I'm lonely but there's not a damn thing I can do about it because in their eyes, I'll always be a nerdy weird individual.

    I know that the only way I can stop these feelings is to distract myself from them, but sometimes it's just way too hard to keep trying... I just want to make it all go away.
  2. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    I can only think i'm here to suffer.

    As a child I had a handful of friends but i've always been incredibly shy and quiet, aloof. I've always had an old head so i've always had difficult emotions looking back.

    As a late teen and young adult my problems have spiraled out of control into full blown depression and probably many other things. Each day from the moment I wake up I feel totally alone and in angst at everything. Sadness all the time. I've always been lonely. If I go to heaven i'll probably be alone there too. It's all just a fucking joke. I was never meant to be here and looking back i've known it all along.

    I wish all the problems of the world in the present and the past could correct themselves and I could slip away on my own.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think many ppl who seem better off are in pain as well...there are so many resources to moderate the pain (therapy, meds, etc.) that should be considered...for me, the pain has been greatly lessened, at times, through the use of these, and when I am in pain, I have a wonderful support system...I am in pain because I am living as imperfect in an imperfect world, and devote myself to making both better...J
  4. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    I don’t think everyone is as happy as they appear.
    Many of my friends think/thought that I was an overly happy individual. Little did they know as soon as I got home I’d carve my shoulder off and think of various ways to kill myself.

    I did discover, however; that by simply being unhappy around people, I became unhappier.

    I realize it’s much much easier said than done. Sometimes I can’t, but I try.
    If I’m sad and depressing around people, chances are they’ll enjoy my company less. As opposed to if I put on a fake face and pretend to be happy they’ll at least approve of my presence, leaving me less time to contemplate various ways to kill people (including myself).
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi asdf and welcome to SF. :welcome: I too don't have many friends in real life. I'm somewhat of a nerd and have been for pretty much my whole life. But there's nothing wrong with being a nerd. Nerds rule. I like having a few close friends, as opposed to many fake friends. Just be yourself. :hug:
  6. asdf12345

    asdf12345 Member

    Thanks for the kind advice and welcome you guys.

    That's how I feel like... Some people just don't seem to ever be alone, and they're comfortable like that... But I think I have a problem, I don't want to be lonely anymore, but then when people get closer to me I tend to clam up and distance myself away from them, even though I want them to be there.

    I mean it's possible to suppress those feelings and have a good day most of the time but sometimes the truth just comes falling down on you. I wish there was just a way to get rid of this all. I hadn't hurt myself in a long time, but today, I did.
  7. Ed83

    Ed83 Member

    The reason a lot of people - yourself included - wonder why we are here and what the point of it is, is largely due to society at this time in my opinion. Humans would naturally live a much richer and more spiritual life in touch with nature and full of love and harmony, working in symbiosis with each other. However, western society is highly unnatural, and sadly it is clear that world affairs, the media, the education system, and everything else is corrupted and dictated by a few very powerful individuals not in the public eye, and hence the quality of life seems low and humans are told what reality is, and told it is something far more humble than what it truly is. The whole of society nowadays is based on mind control, through media, education, government, and every other aspect of society. It is only natural that you may feel things are pointless amidst this society that through corruption has led to people living lives in fear and fighting for survival on many levels, where if it weren't for this corruption this would be unnecessary.

    Even if you're not interested in the corruption element of the society you're living in, on a personal level it's still possible to see through all this and realise how much richer human life really is than what you are led to believe by the media and by the 'consensus reality'.

    Reading the following authors will be a good start in trying to find the real meaning in life that is lost to you at the moment through the society you've grown up in:

    Colin Wilson,
    David Icke,
    Credo Mutwa,
    Robert Powell,
    Dalai Lama,

    There are also many other authors, and
    You should watch some video's on google video or you tube on the following:

    Michael Tsarion,
    David Icke,
    Credo Mutwa,

    I'd also recommend not exposing yourself to the media; for example if you watch a lot of TV, to not watch as much, and especially not news programs or other programs that the people controlling the media want to make a reality in everyone's minds.

    It is also a good idea to look into eastern martial arts and eastern philosophy, meditation, tai chi, yoga, etc, as the mind and body can help each other.

    Educating yourself on these sort of topics should help you start to make sense of the reality you find yourself in. I hope this helps,

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