Why are we like we are....?
I will sit on my own for days, weeks even and refuse to socialise with the outside world, I was originally diagnosed a chronic depressive and agoraphobic back in 1998 when I was referred to a psychiatrist, since then things have probably just got worse over the time.
They asked if I'd like to go to counselling, of course I didn't want to go! So they arranged home visits of which made very little if any impact on my state of mind, they tried various exercises, meditation and even plans of going out...
Then came the pills, Prozac, Citalopram 20g, then 40g then 60g... then (and still currently) Efexor of which seems to do nothing in fact I still wish myself dead and often think about ways of accomplishing such a task.
I have (as of yet) never actually tried to terminate my life, mainly because I want a guaranteed method of success.
I've not been out in well over two years now, everything I purchase is via the net, phone or friends.
I have days where I cannot face anyone, and then some days where I can face people I know, What I don't understand about myself is the fact I don't want to be on my own yet I don't want company, anyone else feel this?
I will sit in my favourite room with my computer, tv and waste hours generally doing nothing for days on end, I cannot even motivate myself to take part in things I actually enjoy doing most of the time.
I used to have a great chat friend on msn at one time but she got married and now don't use msn any longer. I think we got along so well because she too was registered depressed and in some ways I think we related to each other and our feelings towards life.
Anyway I'm not even sure why I wrote this, I think I just wanted to break out into the big wide world and let people know I exist!
But it would be a relief to know I'm not the only one who's living in this secluded lifestyle.
Regards
Martin
I will sit on my own for days, weeks even and refuse to socialise with the outside world, I was originally diagnosed a chronic depressive and agoraphobic back in 1998 when I was referred to a psychiatrist, since then things have probably just got worse over the time.
They asked if I'd like to go to counselling, of course I didn't want to go! So they arranged home visits of which made very little if any impact on my state of mind, they tried various exercises, meditation and even plans of going out...
Then came the pills, Prozac, Citalopram 20g, then 40g then 60g... then (and still currently) Efexor of which seems to do nothing in fact I still wish myself dead and often think about ways of accomplishing such a task.
I have (as of yet) never actually tried to terminate my life, mainly because I want a guaranteed method of success.
I've not been out in well over two years now, everything I purchase is via the net, phone or friends.
I have days where I cannot face anyone, and then some days where I can face people I know, What I don't understand about myself is the fact I don't want to be on my own yet I don't want company, anyone else feel this?
I will sit in my favourite room with my computer, tv and waste hours generally doing nothing for days on end, I cannot even motivate myself to take part in things I actually enjoy doing most of the time.
I used to have a great chat friend on msn at one time but she got married and now don't use msn any longer. I think we got along so well because she too was registered depressed and in some ways I think we related to each other and our feelings towards life.
Anyway I'm not even sure why I wrote this, I think I just wanted to break out into the big wide world and let people know I exist!
But it would be a relief to know I'm not the only one who's living in this secluded lifestyle.
Regards
Martin
