Why are you feeling suicidal today?!?!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by JustFirefly, Feb 3, 2012.

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  1. JustFirefly

    JustFirefly Well-Known Member

    We already have the Are you feeling suicidal today, So why are you feeling suicidal?


    I for one am feeling downed and suicidal because i feel so alone...
     
  2. cc1990

    cc1990 Well-Known Member

    I feel alone, extremely bored and because I'm a loser, I have no life and can't go anywhere. It's like this everyday. :( I feel trapped, it's like I'm a prisoner in my own body in a way.
     
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Because I feel that I'm going nowhere in life, and never will
     
  4. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    I feel alone and that I'm not getting better emotionally
     
  5. cc1990

    cc1990 Well-Known Member

    Me too. :(
     
  6. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    Because I have very treatment resistant depression and can't overcome my sense of apathy and meaninglessness.
     
  7. cc1990

    cc1990 Well-Known Member

    I just can't find any reason to value my life let alone anybody else's. Nothing will ever truly get better for me. :( I don't have any goals, no future plans. I'm stupid, I was lucky enough to graduate high school let alone go to college. What does it matter if I die? What the fuck is there to be so happy to be living for? Life isn't sacred, life isn't precious. Since when? If that were true, everybody would be happy to be alive, I'm not. I believe that there is no meaning to existence at all, we just make up shit to make our lives feel more important. It's just human arrogance and self importance. That's all religion is, is a shield from the truth that we are nothing and no better than any other living species on this lousy planet. I came to this site to see if I can get some help as a last ditch effort to find some hope. I'm even writing my suicide note. I don't want to be so miserable and uncaring but I am, I'm not entirely sure why I'm like this, I lack sympathy and compassion for humanity and our worthless species. I'm so apathetic it's not even funny. Lol. Not everybody can do everything that everybody else can, not everybody is meant to be remembered. It's the way I've been living my entire life, I have taught myself to just not care. :( I don't care about my life, my body, my well being, I don't care about our species, the future of this country (I live in the USA) or anything, really. I remember when that stuff with that stupid **** Casey Anthony was going on I thought, "Yeah... the girl's death is sad but OH WELL! Fuck it." I wish I could find happiness or get better but for what? I can't, I'll never be able to get over how I truly feel. I'm like an emotionless robot without any ambition. :(

    It's so depressing watching the world and life pass you by and feeling like you can't do anything about it and knowing that you'll never be normal. I don't fit in with people and our species and I never felt like I belong here.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 3, 2012
  8. Jungle420

    Jungle420 Banned Member

    This pretty much. Im sick of being alone and it feels like I have no future. Im extremely lonely that my emotion is all over the place. Im suicidal because I just sit in isolation without anyone to talk to. Its really difficult going out and getting friends if you have none to even start off with.
    I dunno wtf to do with my life. Its just groundhog day everyday..for years.. I don't know why ive put up with it for so long. Now my parents are threatening to kick me out the house because they are cold hearted bastards who cant understand the extremity of what I go through. The only thing I have is a roof over my head, and they are threatening to take that away from me now
     
  9. JustFirefly

    JustFirefly Well-Known Member

    I feel lost most of the time. Alone and hated by my family. Trapped in my own body. I wish to be understood and loved for who i am. But it never happens.
     
  10. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Because I am a selfish and disgusting excuse for a human being.
     
  11. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I am suicidal because I have hardly any outside contact with people in general. I've only got so much interaction with humans, when I was married. Not that's gone. I am a hermit now. I don't leave the house because I am agoraphobic. I think that everyone is watching me. Analyzing me. Making negative comments with their eyes.

    I hate myself because of this paranoia. It drives me mad, and yet I cannot escape it. I cannot escape this living breathing hell I am in. The psych I go to makes me feel so small. I know he doesn't really care, because he asks me to rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10, and I always tell him a 5 or a 6. He says that's normal. Normal?!?!?

    I hate him, I hate me, and hate everything that he and I go through. I just want it to end!
     
  12. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    Beautifully said! :smile:

    In my own life, I simply feel like I'm an "alien", that I don't know where I came from but that I'm not from Earth. Or like I'm on top of a hill watching the circus of life happening below.

    What I've come to see is that I'm not my body....as I age, I can feel my body lose it's peak of health and stanima, but beyond that my spirit is still fresh and life positive, wanting to create and share.

    My family has rejected me and I've been rejected all my life but I've come to see that they reject that I'm not their "happiness", but a mirror that reflects their selfishness, possessiveness, judgment, and so on. We don't support their illusions that are their escapes from reality.

    I'm not lost anymore in terms of being confused, but I do feel like a stranger. I have dropped out of the rat race of ego and feel "homeless", except that the whole of nature is my home. I can see the natural world that is breathtaking and I can see the manmade overlay called society or civilization that spawns mental illness in EVERYONE with this permanent sense of confusion. When I saw that deep down I'm being rejected for simply wanting to be myself, I was for the first time able to love myself, love my life and not feel any guilt or shame. This is my story of self healing... http://www.profound-self-help.com/adhd-self-help.html

    I'm frustrated everyday that I can't for the life of me be understood by those that are around me. Online, I've found dozens of kindred spirits with amazingly open minds and I love that about the internet. We are a rare breed and the internet is a tool that allows us to find each other. I see your heart and your frustration in your post because I see the same thing in me. And because I don't depend on others for my happiness anymore, that allows me to have a totally open mind to the happenings in others which in turn allows a loving compassion to replace judgment.

    The problem isn't in anyone of us except in that this confusion is nearly impossible for anyone to escape without help. It's actually really simple and right under our noses....the clarity is right there but the confused mind can't see it which is why it unseen by nearly everyone. That someone takes his own life is a tragedy because it isn't necessary....the confusion can be eliminated and a person that is clear is a person that gets his life back, gets his energy back and selfishness is replaced by selflessness, darkness turns to light.


    For so long I kept telling myself, "something key is missing in my understanding of life". I could see the gap, the missing puzzle piece but I couldn't see what the piece was. I do now.
     
  13. BigTomTooToo

    BigTomTooToo Well-Known Member

    Sounds about right in every way! Lousy planet lol. Last semester I attended college I failed my courses because of my depression. I also starting writing notes a couple weeks ago but now I'm at a median, maybe waiting for the next depression or hardship then I'll finally leave, dunno when but I want to. There is nothing here I want, nor want to become. I totally agree about the meaning of life thing, we come up with all sorts reasons to make us feel important, like life is great. I think life is shit and it's a big struggle for all species. The world is by no means a friendly place and these systems we have established are such a damn competition everyone has to compare themselves to the person next to them. My depressions saps happiness and joy out of my life and takes away my ambition so I cannot accomplish anything. I have no goals or anything that I feel like I want/should do. :| I just want people to understand that I don't think of life in the same way and not take offense from my wanting to leave.
     
  14. Medusa.

    Medusa. Well-Known Member

    I'm just so sick of life, its meaningless to me. I am worthless.
     
  15. JustFirefly

    JustFirefly Well-Known Member

    Im sorry to hear so many people are feeling so down >.<
     
  16. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    so hard to see someone you would give your life for um totally destroy herself and i for one am tired of watching this destruction i want to go away so i don't ha ve to see anymore
     
  17. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Because I feel like things have never been good in my life and never will. Can't stand to see anymore failure.
     
  18. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    If I knew, maybe I could fix it.
     
  19. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Because I can never do anything right. Everything inevitably leads to someone being upset :dunno: So I give up....
     
  20. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    The adventure of life is to learn. The purpose of life is to grow.
    The nature of life is to change. The challenge of life is to overcome.
    The essence of life is to care. The opportunity of like is to serve.
    The secret of life is to dare. The spice of life is to befriend.
    The beauty of life is to give.

    ~ William Arthur Ward

    The first two lines gets us to mental wholeness and the rest happens when our energy is no longer wasted being confused and now is available to share and live. First it has to be all about you until you heal then you have something to share. Right now, the only thing to share is misery.

    When this quote speaks for you, know that you've healed.
    http://www.profound-self-help.com/letting-go.html

    How to heal? You have to learn why you're confused and miserable. There's a paradox that is nearly impossible to figure out alone and culture isn't helping you. Everyone on the planet, 99.9% are confused and clinging to ideas to stay sane. A few are so miserable they don't want to live at all. Most find distractions and intoxications for all their lives and die later.

    None of this is necessary.

    :smile:
     
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