why are you stil alive?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by asking_advice, Dec 12, 2011.

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  1. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    why are you stil alive?
     
  2. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Because I refuse to become part of a statistic to everyone else. I also havent been able to bring myself to go through with it when I've been that close, there was always something stopping me from slitting my own throat, probably the messy nature of it and how long it would take to bleed out.
     
  3. VALIS

    VALIS Well-Known Member

    Great question, I guess just because things haven't gotten quite that bad yet. As far as natural causes/accidents, I guess... things just haven't gotten quite that bad yet.
     
  4. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    because i still have some cash in the bank but come jan/feb it should be gone.When i sold my flat i always had it in my mind that i would treat myself to all the things id wanted but never been able to afford,and ive done that now.The flip side to that was when all the money is gone id end my life so just that part of the bargain to keep.
     
  5. cruztacean

    cruztacean Member

    Because the date I've set has not yet come to pass.

    I've been honest with my husband about my feelings and thoughts. Only he and my therapist know about the date. My two adult daughters don't.

    Last night when I told him it still stands, at this point, he begged me not to do it. Having some severe emotional repression issues himself, I think he came almost as close as he can, to crying. In the five years I've known him, I've seen that happen only once--when his elderly, very beloved cat died. And he reminded me of it, saying if he got so upset about the cat, how much more upset would he be about me?

    But I still don't know. I have chronic medical conditions and I am constantly generating medical bills he complains about. If he didn't have me, at least it wouldn't cost him so much money.
     
  6. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    I am alive because I have not exhausted all avenues of treatment yet. There are too many unanswered questions about me that I need answers for before I could possibly call it quits. If given the choice between happy or dead; right here, right now, I have decided to see about attaining the ever elusive concept of happy. It was not always this way. In the past I would have chosen the other way because I had dismissed happy as a thing beyond my reach to achieve. I am alive because I am not ready to give up yet. So long as there is a chance for things to get better, I will continue to fight.
     
  7. Stripe

    Stripe Well-Known Member

    I am alive because just over a year ago I decided to change everything and give things one last chance.

    Its working out a lot differantly than I expected and in many ways, alot better as well. I'm glad I didnt do what I was going to do.
     
  8. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I'm alive because I am afraid of attempting suicide. I am afraid of failing and ending up still alive but then crippled, as a vegetable, etc. Even if I survived a suicide attempt unscathed, having my family members and others find out would just be completely devastating.

    Also, I believe its because I still live with my parents and younger brother. I really don't have any friends, a girlfriend, etc. to support me. All I have is my immediate, nuclear family. I'm quite sure that once I move out of my parent's home and am completely alone for a while, then I may finally attempt suicide. Its something I've thought about since the date I joined this forum, but I wonder when I'll muster up the will and courage to go through with it?
     
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm alive only to spare my family anymore grief ..
    I lost my son to suicide and it's THE worst grief there is to endure...trust me!!
    sometimes though, because of the way the family treat me, I don't even care about the pain they'll endure if I go..
     
  10. daisyhope

    daisyhope Active Member

    Im still alive becasue ive learnt that its not fair for me to so willingly and easily give up my life when a 16 month old girl has spent her life fighting, despite doctors saying she wouldn't make it. Ive come to the knowledge that she means the world to me and i am a big part of here, i dont want for her mother (a close friend) to one day have to explain to her daughter what happened to me. I wouldn't want to tell a child that so why should i make my freind do that.

    Im still alive because people care, because i wrote down how many people would be affected by that choice and i saw it was more then i imagined.

    Im still alive because within the human being there is an instinct to survive and a will to live, a nurse said to me that if i was so determine to die that i would. Then my mind, body and spirit would let me, so despite how i feel and have felt part of me whats to live.

    And finally im still alive becasue its not my time to die. My faith tells me that God has a plan for my life, a plan that involves the day i was born, the present future and the time when i will die. I can keep trying to take my life but i think ill fail every time.
     
  11. Sadspirit

    Sadspirit Member

    Because I only just found out where to buy my method of choice and it hasn't arrived yet.
     
  12. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Only because a policeman wouldn't shoot me in a standoff, and instead, talked me into a calmer state.
     
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Because the date I've set has not yet come to pass.

    I've been honest with my husband about my feelings and thoughts. Only he and my therapist know about the date. My two adult daughters don't.

    Last night when I told him it still stands, at this point, he begged me not to do it. Having some severe emotional repression issues himself, I think he came almost as close as he can, to crying. In the five years I've known him, I've seen that happen only once--when his elderly, very beloved cat died. And he reminded me of it, saying if he got so upset about the cat, how much more upset would he be about me?

    But I still don't know. I have chronic medical conditions and I am constantly generating medical bills he complains about. If he didn't have me, at least it wouldn't cost him so much money.



    What abut your other daughters your adult daughters how i will they cope the guilt they will feel if you leave. I am sorry you are suffering better to sign yourself into hospital and keep safe then to pass on that kind of pain to them I know that pain it never leaves Dates can be changed you can get support and help hun do it now don't wait okay
     
  14. I'm_trying

    I'm_trying Well-Known Member

    Because I'm holding on for one last holiday. I'm also waiting for my parents to not be around for two weeks. So I can't be stopped.
     
  15. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    signing yourself into a hospital isnt keeping safe because people treat you like a dumb kid, you seriously think that submitting yourself to that environment is 'keeping safe'???

    anyway im still here because of inertia
     
  16. prakash

    prakash Well-Known Member

    I am still alive because I want to die a natural death. If I die in a car accident, so be it. If I die due to Cancer, so be it. But why the hell should I kill myslef?????
     
  17. xsomewhatdamagedx

    xsomewhatdamagedx Well-Known Member

    to be honest i really dont know why im still here but i think that its only a matter of time before i die i have always known that i wont have a long life so it doesn't really matter much to me
     
  18. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    then you went to wrong hospital if they treated you that way I am sorry the care you got there did not help
     
  19. Sardaukar

    Sardaukar Well-Known Member

    Im alive because i decided to reach out and try to meet people, ive met so many awesome people who have helped me, and when i found out that someone close to me loved me, well, yeah, that has given me a new lease on life, and i hope that i can continue to love him and make him happy :)
     
  20. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    you know what, at NO hospital do they respect your right to do what you want with your body, because they're anti-freedom and stuck in their own minds. If people recognized peoples feelings towards suicide as legitimate, EVEN IF THEY DISAPPROVED, I bet a lot less people would commit suicide.

    I'm extremely pro-choice on the matter of 'right to death', but even though I am I don't necessarily support most people committing suicide. But I also don't support stripping away their rights and making them into pariahs, which is what society does to 'us' now. Because many would never go so far over the deep end since they wouldn't feel ignored and like an outsider. The hospital I went to was one of the 'better' ones. They dont treat you like an equal who has valid reasons for feeling a certain way (and this is the biggest part), they treat you like a diseased person where everything you say just backs up the label they assign , this is the exact opposite of help. And even if it is true that the majority of suicidal people are impulsive, some of us are rationalists and being confined to a hospital for wanting to end your life at the time of your choosing is barbaric and no better than segregation or the old institutions where they'd lock up disobedient wives for supposed 'hysteria'.

    And its not 'for safety' unless you're a danger to other people, or completely incapable of rational thinking. Every single drug they gave me made me feel like garbage, yet people still go on about how I should try more EVEN THOUGH anti-depressants are known to increase suicidal thoughts in some people...and they do this despite the reality that my 'suicidal thoughts' isnt some stupid cry for help or 'wanting to hurt myself'...its a desire to die so that I may walk with god or into the abyss. Like an old, withered man who has lived out his days. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE ACCEPT THAT? They're perfectly okay with letting a terminally ill old person die. A calculated endeavor where rolling a 0 is better than rolling a -40 at best is a rational proposition and other people don't have the right to decide that our future is 'worth it' if we have rational faculties intact. And no, not everyone who wants to die is irrational like the BS they spew. Some of us have experienced ten thousand fires inside, FAR worse than even the worst chronic depression, yet maintained rationality.

    I would recommend mainstream support only if they rescind their anti-choice and condescending 'disease' model. Certainly its possible that chemical differences contribute to some peoples problems, but holding them against their will or regarding them as lower class citizens who don't have full rights to do whatever they want with their body doesn't help people who are suicidal...it often just makes them angry.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 14, 2011
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