Why are you still here?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by darkdays, Aug 12, 2013.

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  1. darkdays

    darkdays Active Member

    I had an idea last night and surprise surprise I actually remembered it this morning. Someone please tell me if it's been done already. I have noticed in myself and others who are mentally ill a tendency to talk about all the ineffectual stuff that others have done and said to try and break us out of our suicidal state and we're probably all familiar with those lists of rather unhelpful techniques such as deep breathing and going for walks which may work when you're a little blue but but let's face it don't do a whole lot when you've gone totally mental and your whole world is crashing down around you.
    What if, instead, we who are suicidal or have ever been suicidal, list in one thread, what does work, in the hope that it might help someone refrain from committing suicide. Anything is fair game as long as it is keeping you around: things like wanting to see a child grow up, or maybe you feel that it's not the right time yet and you're waiting for x event to happen, etc.
    For me the biggest deterrent of all time has been an intense, morbid fear of death. That, unfortunately has been removed. The two remaining things that are keeping me around are family and a strong feeling of hope that things can and will get better. If you have any deterrents holding back death's cold, bony hand, please share them here.
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I think just wanting to see what will happen in the future, if I will be able to make something of myself, to do what I want and for things to change for the better, that's mostly what's keeping me here now.
  3. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    Kind of a bad thing, but mood spikes usually keep me going. Emergency measure: sleep deprivation. -See above-
    I guess a vague hope that i can make peace with those that i have hurt. Or finding a small important goal, like finish a game, or show. Mainly i just feel like maybe i can get the people that cut me loose to hear me out. "If but dreams came when i were awake"
  4. pithrania

    pithrania Active Member

    My family and my friend. I would never want to cause them that kinda pain on purpose.
  5. tigerpx

    tigerpx Active Member

    short answer - my cats ...
  6. darkdays

    darkdays Active Member

    it seems that we each have something near and dear to us that we are willing to keep hanging on for. there are reasons that i keep plugging away. it is only when intense self destructive moods hijack me and take me for a ride that i get into trouble. but what about the people who think they have absolutely no reason to keep going. what do we have to offer them other than the same old tired and hollow platitudes that we ourselves have been given? i am looking ahead to a time when i or someone like me is blinded by a chemical imbalance in their brain, coupled with ingrained negative behaviors and thought patterns that sabotage our early efforts to maintain our sanity. what happens then? what will save us?
  7. Lost

    Lost Staff Alumni

    I am not really sure right now. I certainly cannot call this a life nor do I have energy to try for one anymore. I guess my dad right now if I had to say but I feel more of more a hindrance and disappointment with each day. Just waiting for that day I can feel coming when the straw breaks me.
  8. xero

    xero Member

    Not today..... maybe tomorrow. It gets harder and harder to say each time I'm at the edge. Somehow I manage to hold it all together for a bit longer.
  9. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    because i don't know what lies beyond... what death feels like. i have my ideas, but i don't know for sure. also someone told me a few weeks ago... you know, 1 day when your life is over, you won't be able to hear your music- talk to your online friends... that kind of thing. and the idea of not doing those things breaks my heart- while i hurt a lot inside, when i put my friends and my music in to the equasion, it actually scares me
  10. darkdays

    darkdays Active Member

    Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Don't know who said it first, but it's worth repeating. Being agnostic and a lifelong doubter by nature, I can't say for sure what lies ahead, termination of existence, heaven or hell, an endless cycle of rebirth, nirvana,who knows? some say this, some say that, and unfortunately there are those who are willing to come to blows over the answer to that question and try to force you to believe only what they permit you to believe. If you're not yet familiar with the near death experience phenomena, in which people who are clinically dead or very near death leave their bodies and usually experience a typical set of events, in which some are able to report events that happened around them, which they would have had no way of knowing about unless they actually had been out of body,I would encourage you to read something like Raymond Moody's Life After Life or any one of the dozens of other volumes of case studies that are out there. It may ease your mind about the continuation of the soul after death, but be warned, those who have committed suicide and had an nde for the most part have sworn off suicide, saying that they were no better off dead than alive, because all the anguish and torment that they experienced in life went with them into the afterlife.I have a brother who had an nde and my mother in law had one as well. My brother firmly believes in God, My mother in law is an atheist. having been dead for a brief time and experienced absolutely nothing, I couldn't say one way or the other.
  11. Amthorn

    Amthorn Member

    I read books. I figure I want to know what happens at the end and if I die then I won't finish. Stupid I know but I am very suicidal every day, have lost everything I care about and have no future worth living in, so sooner or later I will jump off that bridge because I don't want to live homeless and alone in this brutal uncaring world. But somehow I make it from one day to the next.
  12. Anonymous00

    Anonymous00 Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure really. But I still fight everyday. I guess, for myself? It's contradictory how I wanna die soon but still hold on to this life. Maybe it's because I still want to believe that despite all of these, I am still worth something.
  13. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I have been developing a strong, close bond and a solid foundation with one person. The said person is my current partner, and I believe that we work together so well, enjoying the time we are with each other, actually looking at making our lives less depression focused, and a bit better overall. For me, not being religious at all, I believe that we get one chance at life, we should ideally try absolutely everything we can think of in order to get by - regardless of others opinions and perceptions and such.

    And so far, my counsellor has said I light up when I talk about her. I'm a brighter person around her. I feel so much more than just "alive" - I feel like i'm even beyond cloud 9. As such, ideations that I was having have reduced a fair bit (although there are moments I still have them), because there is some hope for me... having someone who accepts me for me is a key aspect of that.
  14. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    One time when I was falling off the edge into dangerous behavior, a nurse talked to me on the phone for some time. She asked me to get out of my car and walk around the neighborhood, and she asked me to tell her details about what i was seeing. This helped get my mind out of the self-destructive state by giving it something else simple to think about while we talked about what was going on with me. "Taking a walk" might seem stupid to some, but it helped save me.
  15. BigCityDreams

    BigCityDreams Member

    Very simply put, if my car were completely paid off and I had easy access to my method of choice, it's likely that I would not be here.

    It will, however, be paid off by early next year. Maybe we'll see.
  16. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    It was smoking and Millie, but now there is only smoking. Go figure.
  17. roksy

    roksy Well-Known Member

    I guess I haven't killed myself yet because of my mom, feeling that I have things that I haven't done yet and that it is not my time yet. Also if there was a way for a doctor who facilitated death for me maybe I would ask for help. I am not too big on me actually executing it.

    Overall though I like how we are quite hopeful in the face of such horrid thoughts. Good on us.
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