Why ask same Q repeatedly???

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Marathon-Running-Bunny, Aug 27, 2014.

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  1. I was just discharged from hospital psychiatric ward yesterday. I am still having suicidal thoughts and I have seen the psychiatrist as an outpatient today. Guess what she does? Ask me so many questions about my childhood repeatedly and wanted specific dates and times. I am also seeing the psychologist in the same hospital previously and she has already asked all these questions and I have answered them. The doctor and the psychologist can share notes since they are in the same hospital, so why need ask the same questions again and again??? I am fucking pissed off because they are wasting time. Here I am hurting so badly inside emotionally and didn't want to rake up about my childhood past and there the doctor keep digging at my open wound. I am deeply hurt. She has increased my medication dosage again today because the previous dose didn't stop me from having all the suicidal thoughts and it actually made it more intense. :( :( :( my next appointment with the doctor is next week. :( I am deeply in emotional pain and she got no email address for me to write to her. I don't know what to do except praying for my thoughts not to get so intense or else I might lose control and act out on them. I am very very suicidal and to me I see no hope in everything now - at this moment, at this second. I just want to die and rest in peace. :( :(
  2. I see this all the time with medical doctors, much less mental health practitioners. It is a combination of laziness and/or lack of time due to the way the terrible health care system in the US works, pushing doctors from patient to patient every few minutes so that they are meeting themselves coming and going and don't even see patients as human beings. It is so bad that when you encounter someone who DOES actually care enough to show respect for your time and feelings, you want to burst into tears of gratitude.

    At any rate, I usually handle it by calmly pointing out that it's in my chart and we don't have time to rehash it every time we see each other. It is, in my view, I tell them, a reasonable expectation on my part that they review my chart before meeting with me so that we don't waste the allotted 7 minutes just getting up to speed. I say this without anger or blame; I even say it with some empathy for their business -- but it is just a simple statement of fact. I find that after this happens a couple of times they start reading my chart. In part, because they know darned well that I'm right and they're wrong.

    To pull this off, though, you have to be very matter of fact, even respectful (doctors have even more fragile egos than most people). You have to come from a position of confidence and strength. Unfortunately this is probably asking too much when you are in emotional pain, but think about it and see if you can pull a rabbit out of a hat.

    Regarding her not allowing you to write via email, that is her right, whether or not you agree with it -- it is a boundary she has drawn and you have to respect the boundary even if you disapprove of it. Most doctors don't even have a fee structure to bill for answering emails as it is not an official "appointment", nor would insurance typically pay for that kind of interaction, to my knowledge. I have never heard of a doctor "treating via email". It is just not a paradigm they know how to engage with. Even though they are, in a sense, "professional hired friends" and email would be a great way to interact, the medical profession (and the insurance industry that largely enables it) is hide-bound and not at all experimental about new ideas. As for using email to make appointments, etc., that is an even better use of the technology, but here again medicine is hide-bound; heck, they still use FAX MACHINES, for god's sake. In the twenty-first century!

    As a general observation, it sounds as if you're enmeshed in something like a county mental health system of the less enlightened variety that just wants to manage at least acute situations with medication. When my stepson had a breakdown his senior year in high school, that is how the system engaged with him. We now live in a far more enlightened community with a much better mental health care system. My own son is benefitting from that -- they provide CSWs and therapists to provide the "talk" side of therapy that someone like you really needs -- which you are correctly sensing. You probably have to allow the system to work in its own way on the medication side and push on your own for access to a good therapist. A couple of thoughts I will share on that:

    1) You are probably going to end up on medication in the short run that is not optimal for you. My step-son was on Trazadone, which basically turned him into a zombie and nearly ruined his freshman year in college. His mother and I had to travel to campus several times to get him registered at the Students With Disabilities office, find him a good therapist (discarding a couple of real duds along the way) and so forth. We managed to cobble together a better situation for him which included much more useful meds. We also convinced him to take a year off last year, found him an excellent therapist, and are sending him back for his Junior year in infinitely better shape. This is the sort of persistence and creativity that's needed to browbeat this clumsy mental health system into doing its job.

    2) Mental health practitioners are all over the map. You will almost surely have to try two or more before you find one that's good. Here's what good looks like: a fairly quick, insightful diagnosis that resonates with you, an action plan that resonates with you, and at least some minimal level of actual interest in and patience with your issues. Let's face it, if you are resistant to the practitioner, or their diagnosis and treatment plan, what's the point? If they can't explain it or sell it to you adequately, they aren't doing their job. They don't exist to hand down pronouncements from on high and have you hop to it.

    One practitioner my wife went to for generalized anxiety disorder many years ago put her on what she later found out was an almost criminally over the top heavy dose of a particular med which actually compounded her problems -- it made her hallucinate -- vivid audio hallucinations of chamber orchestra music that kept her awake at nights. She went cold turkey on her own and might have died doing that, but for that she was lucky. Another practitioner almost gleefully diagnosed her son with "schizophrenic prodrome" and would have gone down entirely the wrong path -- and would have even shared that label with him -- he turned out, when we eventually found a good head doctor for him, to have OCD and an atypical personality disorder, both of which were amenable to treatment. Please, please cooperate with your physicians but don't put them on a pedestal either. If you're not comfortable, find one you are comfortable with. There is probably good reason for your discomfort. "Trust the Force, Luke"!
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