Letting things get to me that don't really matter. I can't believe I cried at work again, I'm such an utter loser sometimes. No one was around but as hard as I tried I couldn't prevent it. I'm just glad it didn't last long. I'm not very pretty on the outside... so my pride, my self-worth is all my internal attributes. For someone to call me stupid, ignorant or foolish is the harshest insult anyone can ever give me. It even bothers me (greatly) when strangers do it. Today I was on another forum... for a game that I play and have played for about two years now. We were just discussing some of the mechanics of the game when a member of our team basically replied to me and said I "didn't get it" and obviously "can't read" and that why should he bother to post anymore since my viewpoints are obviously incorrect. I responded to him in private listing how he made me feel, why I was messaging him, how I had interpreted his post and basically tried to go the high road but I was upset so I also went back to the forums and said if the thread was going to turn into nothing but a bickering contest I wanted no part of it and I deleted all my posts (well, edited them and took out the text). That part was rather silly... he said so later and I have to agree. I think what bothers me so much is I know on some things he's right. If he's right about me reacting in a silly manner... if he's right in that I may not understand one thing what makes him wrong when he says I'm an ignorant fool? If A=B and B=C then obviously A=C right? What's worse is that I came here. I'm sad and feeling horribly torn apart and I came here for what? For a hug? For praise? Nobody here knows me either. I'm such a loser that I don't have real friends to turn to just internet forums that get me all worked up when there's nothing legitamately wrong with me. I'm just a whiner who needs to STFU. --Deep breath-- If I ignore him, the problem will go away. Everyone will ignore it ever happened. I think the conundrum that bothers me is that I have no idea if people actually respect me or not. I try to take on authority roles out of the desire of being respected. I work very very hard trying to earn the trust and respect of others but maybe the reason I don't have any good relationships in friends is because I try too hard? Or that I say something really stupid--or I am really stupid--but I'm nice so nobody wants to hurt my feelings. Am I a nice moron? The kind of person who is a real sweetheart so you could never actually tell them the reason why you never take their "advice" or listen to their "ideas" or value their "opinion"? Maybe I should just stop trying and curl up inside my little house and ignore the world.