Why Bother

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by W Miller, Sep 6, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    I'm way beyond crisis now. I'm hoping to be gone soon. I hate living/existing.

    Don't even know what more to say, now. I'm told by 3 people, I''m loved. All I have left is GOD. He is breaking me down. God often brings you to your knees, if order to well be better to serve him. I was praying all night now. 2 guys were also praying for me. I'm waiting back to hear from my lady friend. She should be about done with my shit pretty damn soon, and I wouldn't blame her one bit.

    I'm reaching out for help, just this one time only. Then, I'll STFU about it. Now see why I push people away.

    I'm not sure there is hope for me. I am saved. God will forgive me to taking my life, he told me so.

    Disagree, agree, I don't care much.

    Any advice for the remainder of time on the Godforsaken earth? Only Music for me, and, well, booze.

    Sorry in advance, I'm at my wits' end!!!

    I've already called several hotlines, they can't help me, and I WON"T get locked up (again). Hell, I'll just come out with it - graphic or not, if need be. Dammit!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 6, 2014
  2. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Nothing but Love in my heart. I'm angry/sad/hurt/depressed. I still love you all, and I love God. God loves me. I will be with God one day. I just have more work to do on this earth. I'm losing my mind (what little I have left from abusing drugs)
     
  3. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    My God prevents me from harming others (my own law - govt)
     
  4. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    I'm going to "real-up" my email here. (completed). My profile is all real. I had a chance at life, and fucked it up....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 6, 2014
  5. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Loving me will only cause you great harm. Avoid people like me like the plague.
     
  6. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    I'm a miserable drunk, addict, and a loser. I'm getting exactly what I deserve; period!
     
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I don't think that is true, about you being a miserable loser and etc. It seems that you are dealing with a lot right now, but if there's anything you need to talk about, I'm willing to listen.
     
  8. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Thank you, means a lot right now. I might take you up on that offer, at some point. Be well, yourself.
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You seem like a very caring and kind person. I have seen your responses to others, if you treated yourself with that same love you would get far! You are not a loser!! We care, keep talking to us :hug:
     
  10. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Thank you Petal, I am a caring guy. You seem so nice yourself. I've meet somebody on here that I really care about, and I can call a friend now. That is a good thing. I also gave a person the creeps, also. HAHA, I'm really not at all. I'm so harmless. Anybody can talk to me. I don't care if you can't express yourself, or you're not good at talking to others. What is the harm in saying "HI". Don't have to offer me advice. I won't ever ask. The person I'm talking to here, just sort of happened by accident. Some people don't mind taking on the burden.

    I guess I'm not sure what I was expecting by posting here. Nobody can stop me, if I chose to do something stupid. People have tried to help me here. I'm just too damn stubborn sometimes, I guess. I'm not sneaky either. I give myself away, and I don't care. I'm looking for help. I know this is just a website, and people are well meaning. While this means a lot, I know it won't take the place of help IRL.

    I greatly appreciate all the have offered advice. As I say, I've made a friend, and promised I would reach out during my darkest hour(s)

    Again, I love your avatar, your mood, you seen so kind. On another thread you said you have a friend with MH issues, you are a special person to make friends with somebody like that.

    Everybody has been great, really! The first person to offer help was NYJ, and please don't think his advice went unheard. I read everything people say to me. I know I need help, and badly.

    Good grief, I'm not a weirdo stalker, I'm exactly what I say I am here. Don't be afraid of me at all PPL
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2014
  11. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Please go back one page to read, sorry!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2014
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I went back and read :p

    I don't think you are a creepy stalker lol....just someone who is hurting inside immensely and I am honestly delighted that you've met someone here that you can connect with. Support is a must in my opinion for mental illness because of the stigma that surrounds it, most people simply don't understand. So glad you have found someone who does....big hugs, and continue to fight this battle and your road to recovery, :hug:
     
  13. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    ***hugs***
     
  14. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I wouldn't worry about any negative opinions, I know I've been called a lot worse...lol...but that doesn't mean it's true. That doesn't make it true in your case, either. I haven't gotten any "creepy" vibes from you, so I would disregard that.
     
  15. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Thanks, its ok though. The person wished me well. Some people aren't sure exactly what to say. I'm good, thanks...:)

    Just when I get bad like earlier today, its real bad (dark thoughts). I'm sure I'll be in bad shape again tomorrow. ATM, I'm ok, since I've talked to 2 online friends today, and they were of immense help to me.

    Could also be, my faith scares people away. I not qualified to preach. I only preach love.
     
  16. jord536

    jord536 New Member

    already went out today to get some of the stuff i need to do it

    the tipping point was earlier today when i was going through on of my old jackets and found a photo in there of us when we went to her work christmas party, in one of those booth things :( just broke me and i started to break down
     
  17. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    That bites! Sorry to hear this Jord, finding old photos of a time gone by, is painful. So sorry.

    Its ok to break down, now and again. That is why we are here, and we are for you.
     
  18. isolatedandsad

    isolatedandsad New Member

    I understand
     
  19. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just offering a listening ear if you ever need one.

    BTW, I like the quote in your sig... and I also seriously doubt you're a sorry excuse for a man.
     
  20. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Oh wow, I only noticed the signature now too, love it, it is beautiful :)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.