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why bother?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kaceybabe, Jul 2, 2007.

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  1. kaceybabe

    kaceybabe Member

    why do we fight day after day to make sure we see thro that day and know we are going to wake up in the sameway the next morning?
    you cry urself to sleep and wish someone could just take away this pain you feel inside! they say i will go to hell if i take my own life ... but im living in hell now! :dry:

    how much can one person take? when do you say enough is enough ... i guess its when u have no thought left but only plans!

    i have tried everything i can to help myself ... pushed and pushed myself to my limits. seen every worker possible, put myself in psych units when i know im at me weakest!

    i dont want to give up ... im searching for a miracle i just cant find ... and im hanging on the edge by one finger and im slipping slowly ... im too close to the bottom!!!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 2, 2007
  2. rd9671

    rd9671 Guest

    Have you tried giving yourself a break? I mean rather than pushing yourself all of the time, try taking some time just for you. Maybe a spa, or an icecream or picnic in the park. What do you like to do? Any hobbies/interests?
  3. kaceybabe

    kaceybabe Member

    yeah i have tried the whole give myself space thing ... i often get pushed into things i dont want to do, and i have stopped doing those things now because i realised they make me more stressed than i need to be.

    i write and draw alot ... sometimes i dont have the motivation to do them.
    totally feel destructive right now!!!
    why cant everything be normal for once? i cant stand my helplessness i really cant :(

    useless to myself!

    thank you for ur reply x
  4. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I know how u feel sometimes it seems easier to give in than it is to fight infact it is i can talk from experience but if u dont succeed hell becomes even worse and you have more pain and more guilt to live with fighting isnt easy but the end result has to be better than giving in no matter how long it takes i guess stay strong and keep talking
  5. kaceybabe

    kaceybabe Member

    my hell cant become any worse believe me! i have tried over and over just to stop my fight but i didnt succeed ... couldnt even do that right *how pathetic*

    sometimes i turn to see the people that should be there to catch me when i fall ... but they have gone!

    i want to run ... run away from myself!!!

    i want peace ...

    for once i want to be the person that feels needed ... instead of the person that is always needing the needing.

    its wishful thinking i will drown on my own tears right now!
  6. rd9671

    rd9671 Guest

    Ok... go to the park and draw a picture of what you see then write a story about it. Even if it is about the goofy squirrel or the pigeon. I would like to read something like that.
  7. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I to feel pathetic for failing like you i felt i couldnt even get that right!! what a failure! but something or someone stops us from leaving who or why?? i dont have the answers today has been tough and the evening is approaching and i know its going to get tougher yet just becouse ive been with these feeling s before it will be a challenge but we can all support each other and get through just one day at a time people will listen to you here but more importantly they will understand if you want to chat about what it is that is making you feel this way and its personal feel free to pm me anytime i will be happy to listen may not have the answers but can share experiences
    Hold in there
  8. kaceybabe

    kaceybabe Member

    thank you both for ur help and support!
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