Why bother....

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Trance, Sep 10, 2009.

  1. Trance

    Trance Well-Known Member

    Seriously at the age of seventeen I'm ready to throw in the towel. I mean whats the point of this whole living thing when your not even doing that. Just surviving everyday by the skin of you teeth. So miserable and yet you have to keep up the pretense that your miss Mary fucking sunshine. And being here seeing all the people who are older then me doesn't make it any easier for me. All it makes me think is "there goes me in fifteen years...still depressed, alone, and just barely surviving."

    Honestly I'd rather be dead but i actually have some feelings left and even though my father abused me and my mother stood by and did nothing i would feel awful knowing they found me dead.

    I talk to people who are older but still no one ever can tell me the point of doing this day to day.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The point is to stop having to do this You are young enough to get help now so you are not like this when your in your 50s Get therapy now get depression under control now so you can have a life. We didn't have the chance of therapy when i was 17 hell no had nothing noone told to keep everything quiet There was no therapy no meds you just suffered and now im in my 50 just starting to get help just starting to get on meds all those years with nothing. You can get the support you need talk therapy psychologist psychiatrist meds please get it now so you don't have to turn out like me get it now so you can have a life 17 and so much time to make things change
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello Trance,

    Welcome to the forums.
    I'm glad you've reached out to us for help. I'm sorry to hear that you were abused. Have you had any professional treatment to help you cope with this? Counselling? If not, please do,it could make all the difference. How is your relationship with your parents now?
    Keep talking if it helps, we can relate to how you feel, stay safe and take care x
  4. Trance

    Trance Well-Known Member

    Everyone tells me to go seek help and i tell them i cant and they say I'm making excuses. I guess i am, but i just cant. One my parents refused to admit anything they've done is wrong so they'd never let me see anyone about it and two i know i could never sit down with someone who's never experienced what i have and talk to them about it while they analyze me. Its impossible.

    And meds are out of the question because it would just be admitting to myself that something is wrong with me. I know that may sound silly but i strive to appear as normal as possible because i know just how untrue that is.

    As for my relationship with my parents right now since i just moved back in there totally guilty so they are being extra nice. The phoniness is worst then being beaten.