Every day we hear "_____ died today". And everyone always says "today could be your last day". Well I've been waiting for my last day and it hasn't come. Why is it so fucking hard to die?! People die accidently every single day; why can't I be one of them?? Even when I tried to kill myself, I didn't die. I feel hopeless, like no matter how much I try to die, I can't. I'm a failure for not being able to do the only thing I want to do- kill myself. I know how I'm going to try next time, but I'm terrified that I'll fail again and end up alive with serious brain damage. I'm so pissed. All I want to do is die, and it's not happening.