why, why, why can't I get better. Everyone says it gets better, better with time. Not for me. 16 years of this torment. 16 years of not caring, not feeling, gloom, haze. If I could go to sleep and not wake up would be best. I read these posts and wonder if it will ever end. So many like me. Yet I am alone in my dispare. My wife doesnt understand. It will get better she says. Can't tell the kids, dont need to burden them with my crap. My parents locked me away when it was at its worst. Some of the thoughts I have are pretty scary to most. Am I a serial killer waiting to happen. Never done anything like that, but sometimes thoughts come that disturb even me. Dought I would or could ever act on it, but they are there none the less. Take Xanax every day. Have for years. No help. Taken Depacote, Anaphranil, Haldol, Prozac, Melaril, Lithium. Nothing really helped, just made life feel like I was walking through a world of Jello. Why cant I get better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!