why cant I get better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by silver76, Dec 18, 2007.

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  1. silver76

    silver76 Active Member

    why, why, why can't I get better. Everyone says it gets better, better with time. Not for me. 16 years of this torment. 16 years of not caring, not feeling, gloom, haze. If I could go to sleep and not wake up would be best. I read these posts and wonder if it will ever end. So many like me. Yet I am alone in my dispare. My wife doesnt understand. It will get better she says. Can't tell the kids, dont need to burden them with my crap. My parents locked me away when it was at its worst. Some of the thoughts I have are pretty scary to most. Am I a serial killer waiting to happen. Never done anything like that, but sometimes thoughts come that disturb even me. Dought I would or could ever act on it, but they are there none the less. Take Xanax every day. Have for years. No help. Taken Depacote, Anaphranil, Haldol, Prozac, Melaril, Lithium. Nothing really helped, just made life feel like I was walking through a world of Jello. Why cant I get better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  2. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    not trying to sound discouraging by any means but i walked around in gloom and misery for a good 30 yrs. and things have just recently begun to get better. i never thought the day would come honestly, but it made it. when i began doing my ECT's it began to change my whole world. that's what it took for me. i can't say what it will take for you, but if something came for me something will come your way too. hang on and keep trying.
     
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