There's this guy. I met him in august and he was really cool. We became closer and started talking. He would be really sweet and it was amazing. After awhile, we started dating. Everything was perfect until about two weeks in to the relationship. He started to treat me more like a friend and less like his girlfriend. The next week he broke up with me because he was busy. We agreed to breakup, but we would maybe try again later in the year or the next year. But not even a week later, he invited my best friend to his house. He then proceeded to try and cuddle with her and stuff like that. He was thinking about asking her out. A week later I decided that instead of trying to avoid him, I would make nice and just be friends with him. So that's exactly what I did. But the very next day he accused me of talking about him behind his back and spreading rumors about him, which I was not doing at all. I see him all the time now and its really painful. The only issue is, we dated for three weeks. So why is it that I'm so caught up on him? It's so confusing.
Why can't i get over him?????
- Thread starter kk2000
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hi kk2000 , i understand that this kind of situation is painful to deal with and i ' m very sorry that you are going through this . i can ' t say i know how you feel but that kind of situation sounds very difficult to deal with . maybe you are upset less about losing him and more about the way that he left you and the things that he did afterward . it doesn ' t sound very nice to give you that reasoning and then think about asking your best friend out so soon afterward . sometimes we can get caught up on people no matter the amount of time we have spent with them , whether it be three weeks or three months or even three years , the amount of time doesn ' t invalidate your feelings . regardless that sounds like a very difficult situation and i ' m sorry that you have to go through it , i wish the best for you .
another issue that i have i that he is the commander of the color guard and its very awkward. It's hard to see him smiling and laughing with his friends while I'm hurting and struggling. He told me he'd never leave me and honestly made me happier than i have been in years. When we were together, it was as if my depression was leaving and it was getting better. But now that he's not my distraction anymore, my depression is worsening. I'm thinking of quiting but i love it so much. It makes it very hard and i dont know what to do.
It sounds like you are in ROTC or a similar kind of class with this person.. meaning it will be hard to limit your time with him for now without dropping your class. I'd suggest to not abandon your interests just because this person is in your class. I had a similar experience in high school -- I was dating a person in the fall, we broke up over the winter break, then I had a class with them in the spring which only had 8 or 10 people. I was able to handle the proximity and I think you can too. Just focus on the class while you are there. It's tough but you have to accept that they are a free person and they can do what they want.
If someone tells you that they will 'never' leave you, when they haven't even known you very long (4 months in your case?), you should be suspicious. Never is a long time. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I wanted to point out the warning sign for what it is.
If someone tells you that they will 'never' leave you, when they haven't even known you very long (4 months in your case?), you should be suspicious. Never is a long time. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I wanted to point out the warning sign for what it is.
oh wow I had a sort of similar experience....I met this guy at a party back at the end of September. I acted really into me and I was into him....he was texting me everyday, wanting to hang out all the time. It was all perfect and beautiful and felt like something out of a movie. For about a week. And then things started falling apart and we were on again off again for about two months. It was agonizing because everytime i thought i was over him for real, he would show up again. Anyway, I'm still not over him.
Yeah, he has a girlfriend now and ive tried dating others. Anytime i have a different person in my life, he gets jealous and acts as though hes the only one who can date me. If he sees that im dating someone new, he will get mad as though he has control over me. But its frustrating because he has a girlfriend and she has no idea. She thinks that im obsessed with him and that im trying to steal him away from her but its the opposite. i dont even know what to do anymore.
Hey KK. Sounds like the ex is trying to control you from afar. It's up to you to make sure that doesn't happen. Fact is, he probably looks at what he gave up and regrets it BUT ultimately he showed his true colors be bailing out on you after just a couple weeks with little explanation and all that. you've done the work to get over him to leave it at that. Now he's left with the feeling of being left behind, as you were then. Females are distraught and have a very hard time in the immediate moments of a break up and guys have a waiting period or something; it doesn't hit them until a minute later when you've already started to move on and then suddenly they're wrecked about it. You have the control now, enjoy it. Don't pay attention to this little brat. The best revenge in this case for the way he treated you is to live a happy high school experience. He'll be watching.
There are new developments in this twisted story. He has now successfully turned 95% of the ROTC against me. I used to love ROTC and looked forward to it. But now, i dread it and im tired of the bullying coming from them. It makes me feel as though there truly is no hope for something better. I started dating a new guy and he dumped me because his mother doesnt like black girls. This has been one of the worse weeks of my life.
kk2000,
Bullying is no fun. If they seem to feed off any reactions you give, you might want to try "ignoring" any mean words/looks. If you feel the bullying is too strong and goes on a couple weeks at least, you could talk to the teacher about it. The teacher's job should be to provide an environment wherein all the students can learn and focus. You cannot focus on class if you are distracted by your classmates' actions.
I was bullied verbally and physically and I know it can be tough to stand up to them. I didn't for years. But I hope you can stand up for yourself when you need to.
Bullying is no fun. If they seem to feed off any reactions you give, you might want to try "ignoring" any mean words/looks. If you feel the bullying is too strong and goes on a couple weeks at least, you could talk to the teacher about it. The teacher's job should be to provide an environment wherein all the students can learn and focus. You cannot focus on class if you are distracted by your classmates' actions.
I was bullied verbally and physically and I know it can be tough to stand up to them. I didn't for years. But I hope you can stand up for yourself when you need to.