why can't i get the courage to finally find a way.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Beck, Aug 22, 2015.

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  1. Beck

    Beck Member

    I have no real life. I barely leave the house when I do it is to pick up or drop off kids. Once in a while I get out of the car to go to the store quickly. I have no friends. My husband barely says anything to me other than a general overview of his schedule and me going over kid stuff. my whole house is a disaster zone. I screw everything up with the kids. I know things would be better with out me here to cause more problems. I am scared to try again and screw that up again. Tried asking for help from my husband and got told he did not see the point. so now I am so lost
  2. dccolt

    dccolt New Member

    Hello Beck,

    I am sorry to hear that you are in distress. I wish that I could send you a personal message, but the site won't let me because I just joined up. I joined right now because I wanted to reach out to you.

    I wish that I knew more about you, because maybe then I could come up with something to offer that could help you, even in some minor way. Can you post more on this thread about what is going on in your life? As I said, I just joined this site to post this message to you, but I am sure that there are others here that may have help. I have been struggling in a different area (with a internet pornography addiction) and have been reading posts on a different board. It really does help to write about our issues and to discuss our problems with others, who are in our same situation. I suggest that you give this board a try and post more about what is going on in your life. Hang in there.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I avoided leaving the house for years, it started off by being bullied then it was a way of life from anxiety/agoraphobia, trust me when I say you need to get out of the house as much as you can. My mom just offered to get me refills for my e-cig,I said no that even though I have anxiety and went ahead and got them myself. Staying in the house alone is a factor associated with depression. I have made a new friend as I've been going out walking, you need to get yourself out there, join a class of some kind too help get the energy levels up. You're most likely a great mom but you can't see it because you are suffering, either way, I wish you all the best and feel free to message me at any time :)
  4. kangaroo2

    kangaroo2 Well-Known Member

    I'll bet you do a lot better job with the kids than you give yourself credit for. The stuff you say that you "screw up" I'll bet most people would screw up because it is too hard to do.
  5. crying_wolf

    crying_wolf Active Member

    well i am no one to say because i dont know you situation fully but there is always someone in worse situation than you. At least you have kids that love you, maybe a purpose to continue. You have a car for what i read, a house maybe? husband. I have it worse, i am 30 dam years old with no car, no driver license, no house, no job, i don't get out of the house, living with mom and now the situation economically all of a sudden got so bad we would probably end up i dunno where because we don't have any other family that helps or something, just us and i don't count to be honest. I am a coward, i don't even dare to go outside, i like life i want to be normal work and be like others, have a future but i just cant, dunno what is it if is depression or some social disorder.

    Sorry i feel like i hijacked another thread to talk about me but well i needed that i suppose and didn't want to create more.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Feel free to send me a private message :hugs:
  7. Jacknstuff

    Jacknstuff Member

    The real challenge you sound like you're facing is fear. Fear in a number of ways. And unfortunately, fear is one of the greatest cripplers in life. I don't have real stats, but I wouldn't be surprised if people crippled in some way in their lives was a greater number of crippled persons as compared to all physically injured crippled persons.

    That may not make a lot of sense at the moment, but you are certainly not alone.

    Regardless what it is you're struggling with, once you can combat fear generally, you'll find your life will ease tremendously. If its fear of messing up, fear of being around others, fear of meeting people. Whatever it is, fears all the same. It grabs you by the chest and takes away your breath and will.

    This is actually why in many physical activities they say "Don't think, just do.". Because thinking leads to fear.

    It's not to say stop thinking. But maybe it is. Who knows what will help you overcome fear. But as soon as you do, I promise, things will improve. May not be perfect, but things will get much better.
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